April: 01st - April Fool's Day 01st - Syahrul's Birthday 02nd - Avril Lavigne Bonez Tour 03rd - Mum's Blood Test @ KK 05th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 07th - Justin ORD 10th - Mum's Surgery @ KK Hospital 12th - Aaron's Brthday 13th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 13th - Opening Of (Eight Below) 12th - Opening Of Movie (Firewall) 14th - Good Friday Holiday 17th - Gary's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday Celebration
23rd - Emil & Jonathon Concert 05
26th - Andy Lim's Birthday
May:
01st - Progress Reward Banked In
01st - Labour Day Holiday
01st - Jennifer's Birthday
05th - Opening Of Movie (MI:3)
09th - Winnie's Birthday
12th - Vesak Day Holiday
18th - Opening Of (Da Vinci Code)
25th - Opening Of Movie (X-Men 3)
:: Wish Upon A Star ::
01) A Girlfriend? Let Fate Decide It
02) More Incoming Funds (Money)
03) Apple iPod Video 30 GB ($548)
04) Complete My National Service
05) A Handphone (Nokia N91)
06) A New Wallet
07) New Adidas Watch
08) Apple iMac G5
09) Looking For Pen Pals
:: Current Config ::
Typing On:
- HP iPAQ rx3715
[Samsung S3C 2440 Processor]
[152MB Internal Memory]
[1GB Scandisk SD-Card]
[64K Transflective type QVGA TFT]
[Integrated WLAN 802.11b]
[Integrated Bluetooth]
[1.2 MegaPixels Camera]
[PocketPC Windows Mobile 2003]
- IBM Thinkpad T22
[Intel® Mobile Pentium-III 900MHz]
[1GB RAM]
[60GB IBM HDD]
[64MB ATI Mobility RADEON 7500]
[DVD/CD-RW Drive]
[Iomega USB 250MB ZIP Drive]
[14.1" TFT Active Display Matrix]
[Internal Lucent V.90 Modem]
[Intel PRO/1000 Gbps Ethernet]
[Windows 2000 Professional]
- My Own Personnal Rig
[Intel Pentium-IV 1.7GHz]
[Asus P4P800 Deluxe]
[512MB x 2 Kingston DDR400 D43]
[80GB DiamondMax Plus 9 HDD]
[128MB NVIDIA GeForce4 Ti 4200]
[Creative Audigy 2 Platinum]
[Internal Toshiba DVD-ROM Drive]
[Internal Pioneer DVD-RW Drive]
[External Plextor CD-RW Drive]
[Internal Iomega 250MB Zip Drive]
[17" ViewSonic CRT Monitor GS771]
[smartNIC PnP Network Adapter]
[Altec Lansing ACS 44]
[Windows XP Professional]
Pan Wei Bo
Bu De Bu Ai
Wang Li Hom
Kiss Goodbye
Cyndi Wang Xin Ling
Ai Ni
Yan Cheng Xu
Yi Gong Chi
Lin Jun Jie
Cao Cao
Wang Li Hom
Forever Love
Wu Ke Qun
Wu Ke Qun
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Yi Lu Ziang Bei
S.H.E
Tian Hui
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Gui Ji
Zhang Jing Xuan
My Way
Jolin Cai Yi Ling
Ye Man You Xi
Jay Zhou Jie Lun & Lara
Shan Wu Hai
Wang Li Hom
Ni Bu Zai
Lena Park
Moon
S.H.E
Ai Ne
Akon
Lonely
Alicia Keys
Karma
S.H.E
Xing Guang
B.O.A
Alantis Princess
Xiao Ya Xuan
Di Xia Tie
F.I.R
You Make Me Wanna Fall In Love
Jolin Cai Yi Lin
Hai Dao
Jackie Chan & Jin Xi Shan
Shen Hua
Horoscope for Scorpio 17 April 2006 ~ 23 April 2006
You need to keep busy doing things that you both enjoy. Think twice before you say something you might regret later. Take care of any pressing medical problems that you or one of your parents may be suffering from. Outdoor sports events should entice you.
Since The CopyRight Rule Has Surfaced In Singapore, I Guess, This Portion Is To Be Taken Away. Sorry, People.
:: Site Rules ::
Rules? What rules? There are absolutely no rules. Steal, plagiarize, insult, vandalize, pee, lick, stare, drool, undergo mental sexual stimulation, worship. Whatever you want to do, just do it and don't tell me. HTML coding and decoding are done solely by me, I don't use blog templates. Best viewed in...
IE 5 & Above
800 x 600 Resolution
Unicode UTF-8 Encoding
Full Screen Mode
(Press F11)
By the way, this site is not dialup friendly. (Bandwidth Intensive)
I was packing my bag for National Service bit by bit. Hopefully, when the 17th of October comes, I can get everything done and packed properly. There are still lots of things yet to be bought, but I am taking the Beach Road Market auntie's advice. Keep my things to a minimum.
I also played a listening ear to Ivy today too... As for what is it about and what happened? Catch it at 2 entries down. Everything needed to be said and wrote are already there.
I almost forgot about my blog's ReadMe file. I think I will be attaching it to the blog tomorrow when I have done the final touches and editing on it.
Guess that there will not be any more updates for today unless something interesting crops up. Cheers all~
NS List Of Items To Bring
=========================
Adminstration Items
-------------------
01) Summary of Medical Status Letter
02) Enlistment Letter
03) I/C
Things To Buy
-------------
- Beach Road Market
01) 2 Pairs Of Socks (Green & White)
02) Gloves
- Misc
01) 1 Small Lock for Locker
02) 1 Small Lock for Bag
- Snacks
01) Chocolate Bars
02) Finger Packs Of Chips
First Aid Items
---------------
01) 2 Packs Of Panadol 02) 5 Packets Of Chinese Stomachache Pills
03) 1 Bottle Of Baby Powder 04) 1 Bottle Of YokoYoko 05) 1 Bottle Of Medical Oil 06) 1 Snake Brand Prickly Heat Powder
07) 1 Cake Of Tiger Blam 08) 1 Bottle Of Eno
Stationary
----------
01) 2 Pens
02) Books And Magazines
03) 1 Photos Album
04) 2 Black Markers
05) 1 Pocket Scissor (Foldable) 06) 1 Roll Of Plastic Ziplock Bags Each(Medium, Small) 07) 1 Roll Of Clear Tapes 08) 3 Rolls Of Black Tapes
Toileties
---------
01) 2 Rolls Of Toilet Papers
02) 2 Packets Of Tissue Papers 03) 1 Cake Of Soaps
04) 1 Bottle Of Detergent
05) 1 Bottle Of Deodorant
06) 1 Piece Of Towel
07) 1 Manual Shaver 08) 1 Packet Of Cotton Buds
Clothes
-------
01) 6 - 8 Pieces Of Underwears
02) 8 - 10 Hangers 03) No. Of Wooden Clothes Pegs = No. Of Hangers x 2 04) 3 Sets Of Army T-shirts 05) 3 Sets Of Army Singlets 06) 3 Sets Of Army Shorts
Misc
----
01) $20 Dollar Cash
02) ATM Card
03) 1 Lighter 04) 1 Nail Clipper
05) Black Rubber Bands 06) 1 Pair of Slippers (Flip Flops)
07) 1 Swimming Goggle
08) 1 Radio 09) 3 Piece Of Rags
10) 1 Alarm Clock 11) Extra Handphone Batteries
12) 1 Handphone 13) 5 Plastic Bags 14) 1 Packet Of Batteries 15) 1 Wallet
16) 1 L Torch Light
I was having a SMS conversation with Ivy. She has been trying to reach me since last night, but I was already asleep. She was expressing her feelings about her present job. It seems that there is someone in the company who dislikes her, but acted very friendly in front of her.
Billy, her General Manager had a MSN conversation with her, talking about a lot of stuff regarding her work performance and work related stuffs. To me, I felt that he has been putting a lot of pressure on Ivy since he started to exchange MSN conversation with her. Every time, he chats with her, he will discuss with her about work, work and more work. As time passes, more and more pressure was added on Ivy's shoulders.
After the conversation with her General Manager, she is having second thoughts about staying on in the company. She dreads going to office everyday and wasn't looking forward to facing the people in the office.
One thing I find very fake was Billy's concern for Ivy. He claims that he has been trying all the while to shield her from all the bad comments and words. He had asked Ivy to inform him early if she wanted to quit so that he can stop shielding her.
What the fu*king meaning is that? You mean if she works on, you shield her. If she were to quit, you will leave her expose to all the bad publicity? If you are really sincere about helping a person, you will shield her regardless of she is working for you or quitting soon. I find that he is very hypocritical.
I can't claim that I am a good guy far better than him. But at least, I am straight forward and does not act this way. If you meant to shield someone, you will do it with no conditions.
Billy, if you are reading this now, I got 2 words for you. Fu*k You.
Anyway, none of these are from Ivy. If you have a problem with all these, look for me. Please don't be a bastard and take it out on Ivy. You taking it out on her makes you more of a hypocritical bastard than you are.
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and
productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal... Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but
those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely
shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize.
Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves
home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving
Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in
a way that only their lover can see.
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home.
Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind.. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when
hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional
temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions
carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not
aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks
quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented
in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and
knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing.
Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very
choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often... Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think... Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily
jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn
and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up.
Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable
DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions... Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
Busy day today... I have so many things and appointment today. Hankie wanted to meet me today so that I could pass him my faulty motherboard. I also need to make another trip down to the Beach Road Market to get my T-shirts, singlets and shorts changed.
Anyway, I got a call from Valerie in the morning. She called hoping that I will agree to meet her at Causeway Point. After a long discussion, she managed to convince me to meet her at Causeway Point. I got changed straightaway and rushed out of the house to Woodlands.
I reached Woodlands at 12pm... Valerie was already there waiting for me. We took a long lunch at MOS Burger and later went groceries shopping at the Cold Storage. As Valerie has a tuition appointment at 3.30pm not far from Causeway Point, I decided to hang around Causeway Point until she finishes her tuition session.
While she was away on tuition, I took her handphone, a Nokia 7200, for repairs. The handphone has been giving her a lot of problems as it always auto off itself. I took it to the Nokia shop at level 4 and asked them to upgrade the software. The lady serving me told me that I will need to wait for another 3 hours or so for my turn to upgrade.
I explained that I only have 2 hours to spare and it was not my fault that the handphone is giving me problems, it was Nokia's fault that they did not program the software properly, thus giving users whole load of damn problems. In short, I screwed the lady up. The lady sensing my hostility quickly went into the servicing department and asked them if they could get the handphone done within 2 hours. In the end, the lady returned telling me that the handphone will be ready within 2 hours. In my heart, I was laughing away... After that outburst, I believed that the handphone will be ready in less than 2 hours.
I left both Valerie and my handphone numbers as that they could call either one of us when the handphone is done servicing. For next one and a half hour, I hang around Popular Bookstore and read some books.
At around 4pm, Valerie called me to tell me that she has finished with her tuition and she is coming back to fetch me. I told her about me sending her handphone on servicing. She said she will collect the handphone tomorrow if the handphone is not done by the time she reaches Causeway Point. I went up to the Nokia shop and asked one of the lady if the upgrading of the handphone was done and I do not have any more time to wait on. The lady went into the technician room to check on the status of the handphone.
As expected, the upgrading of the handphone was done. They have done it in a shorter time than I have expected. Maybe they aren't that busy as they claimed. I collected the handphone and went to the KFC to wait for Valerie.
Valerie was there already and was just about to call my handphone. I got onto the car and we head towards Valerie's office at Raffles Place. While Valerie went back to her office to settle some stuffs, I went to Beach Road Market to get my misfit clothing exchanged. Valerie and I agreed to meet back at her office at 5.30pm.
I took the MRT to Lavender MRT Station and walked over to the Beach Road Market. After exchanging my clothing, I chatted with the auntie and uncle there about Basic Military Training (BMT) and find out what are the things that I have missed out on and need to buy. I was in for a shock when the auntie told me that the things that I have bought were far more than enough. She told me that it was better if I were to go for my BMT empty handed.
I left the Beach Road Market at 5.15pm and took the MRT back to Raffles Place. I got to wait a little while before Valerie came over and we went to the carpark and left the city area.
Valerie have a tuition session with Chee Ho at 7pm. Chee Ho's Mathematics Paper 2 was tomorrow and he needs someone to push him to an extra mile to get his work right before his test. Valerie drove us to the hawker centre at Bedok Blk 85. Valerie said that the food there are very good and cheap. We had our dinner there and continued our chatting...
Valerie raised up a topic that we had been thinking of for a long time. What kind of business we are setting up...
You see... Valerie and I had an idea of setting up a small scale business. Something that we could do during our free time and even become our career. The first thing came to her mind was my cookies. I find that her cookies are much meaner than mine. Another factor is also that I will be enlisting into National Service soon... So, where do I have all that time to do cookies? But at least this is a start that we can go ahead with if we want to.
After discussing the idea for sometime, Valerie got to go for Chee Ho's tuition session. We agreed to discuss the business thingy the next time we meet.
Next, I left Bedok to head for Hougang Mall to meet hankie to pass him my montherboard. I need him to change one of the chips on my motherboard to boost my computer. After meeting him for 30 minutes or so, I left for home.
Have you ever heard of the second date theory?
I'm not surprised if you haven't because I made it up.
However, this theory is not at all groundless as I have proven them quite successfully on numerous occasions.
The theory is actually very simple. You should always go out with a guy/girl on a second date to decide whether or not you want to see him again. There are a few exceptions of course, you should not proceed into second dates if :
1. The guy/girl makes no sign of asking or agreeing to a second date
2. The guy/girl is a total creep that you'd rather spend an entire afternoon watching mosquitos sucking blood on your legs.
Definition of a creep : a person who behaves outside the standard norms applied in our society. (Prisons and/or devil-worshipping sects not included) 3. The guy/girl is married (subjected to personal preferences - if you don't mind breaking a nice little family apart and keep the broken piece for yourself - sure,why not?)
Apart from those aforementioned conditions, always say yes to a second date.
The reason, like the theory itself, is simple. Contrary to popular belief, you do need more than one date to really understand, assess and decide if you want to see the person again. Please bear in mind that this theory should not be used as a process of finding "The One". Lord, no. This is simply to help you figuring out whether the person you go out with on a first date might be worth your time and energy for future engagements/meetings.
Also, the second date theory does not restrict you to make any kind of judgement on the second date only. Feel free to do so on the third, fourth, even on the day before your wedding day if you still have doubts by the second date.
Alright, if we're clear about that, let's continue.
If you're like me, a single individual who occasionally feels the needs to socialize with the opposite sex members, you've encountered many of these situations:
1. You went out on a first date with someone and you thought it was a total disaster.
2. You went out on a first date with someone and when somebody asked about it, you shrugged and said "I suppose it went okay..."
3. You went out on a first date with someone and you didn't even wait until you get home before you SMSed your best friend saying "He/she is Great! Cute, sexy and funny! I think I'm in love..."
Sounds familiar?
You might be thinking, "What's the big deal? If it's no.1 or 2, you simply don't have to go out with the person again. If it's no.3, continue!" When in fact, this is where we must hold ourselves from making any judgement too soon. Let me elaborate point by point...
Date Situation #1
A Total Disaster
Have you ever thought how nerve-wrecking it is to be on the first date for some people? You might be able to be non-chalant about it, or you may not have a problem meeting new people and carrying a fun and intelligent conversation with them but some people, most people I believe, think about sitting down in a restaurant with someone they just met and will instantly feel sick. They feel pressured.
What if she doesn't like me? What if he thinks my arms look fat in this top? What if she doesn't think I'm funny? What if he makes a really funny remark and I snort the orange juice out my nose? All those what-ifs! They exist because whether you admit it or not, people put very high expectations on first dates.
So instead of coming off as charming, polite and intelligent, the person sometimes ends up doing the exact opposite. You think he burps loudly because he doesn't have any manner? Think again. He might let it slip accidentally and because he was nervous, he thought burping the word "How you're doing" could save him some face and maybe, just maybe, you'd think it's funny. So give him/her a break. Go out on a second date and decide how you feel then.
Date Situation #2
Mediocre
He's cute but the date went so so. You weren't exactly swept off your feet and during conversation, you found yourself thinking about whether or not you've done your laundry that week. This is also the case of over-expectation. Just because sparks weren't flying above your head, you don't think the person's worth your time? Think about it.
Chemistry is sometimes overrated, people. You just met this person. Most people aren't usually comfortable with expressing themselves too freely on first dates, even if they think you're hot. Do you whisper sweet nothings to your date's ear during movie on a first date? Didn't think so. (If you do, who are you? Marilyn Monroe?)
If you have at least one thing in common (You both think Tiramisu is a great dessert) I'd say that's enough reason for you to agree on a second date. You'll never know how things are going to develop. You might very well find a very special person underneath that sweater vest (sorry, couldn't resist a little "Friends" joke).
Date Situation #3
I've Found The One!
Not so fast, missy. Yes, chemistry might be so thick you can cut it with a knife, but this is a first date, most people actually practice to be charming beforehand. You laughed at the same jokes? Good. You talked on a cafe until you're the only customers left there? Great.
But save your judgements for the second date before you commit the whole weekend for him/her. This tip is also handy for those of you who meet a potential boy/girlfriend but later on found out that the person is unattainable (he has a boyfriend, different religions, different ethnic background, whatever that will drive your parents insane).
You should use this theory to find out whether or not the person is worth saying goodbye to your parents' inheritance for. Ask him/her for a second date. Choose a different location, do different things, see how he dresses during the day (also great to scrutinize every unsightly scars/marks on the face), find out if the conversation does flow as well as it did on the first date.
If after the second date you still find yourselves relishing every second of it in your mind when you're in bed, then my friend, you're officially screwed.
"I haven't seen you smile once tonight." -- Aaron (My Cousin)
He was right. I hadn't.
Tonight, I got into my car after the dinner, started up the engine and tears just immediately raced down my cheeks without warning. A sudden pang of bad feelings trickled from my heart to my stomach. That twisty feeling came with no restrain and tears just wouldn't stop falling.
I tried to control myself by questioning my sanity for feeling that way, but one question led to another... Arriving at problems I had never really explored. I started questioning my beliefs, my affect on others, and most damaging of all, my self-worth. All those questions led to answers that made me cry harder and harder until I nearly suffocated myself in pure hyperventilation. From that moment forward, I just let it all out. I cried myself a river up until the very point I parked carelessly in my luxurious apartment parking lot space and turned the engine off with my clammy, tear-laden hand.
All that crying exhausted me...
... But it felt yummy.
Sometimes, moments like those make me feel good. Those temporary, semi-psychotic sessions of sorrow renew and cleanse my soul.
I can't precisely pinpoint the cause of that outburst, but I do have a general idea:
Like most others, once, every blue moon, I feel lonely.
You remember that cute girl at Sans Bookstore that I mentioned yesterday night?
Well... Just to start things off... I am totally not interested in her. I am just surprised and thankful that someone actually remembers me and gave me attention.
I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.
NS List Of Items To Bring
=========================
Adminstration Items
-------------------
1) Summary of Medical Status Letter
2) Enlistment Letter
3) I/C
Things To Buy
-------------
- Beach Road
01) 3 Sets of Army T-shirts
02) 3 Sets of Army Singlets
03) 3 Sets of Army Shorts
04) 1 L Torch Light
- Watsons
01) 1 Bottle Of YokoYoko
02) 1 Bottle Of Medical Oil
03) 1 Snake Brand Prickly Heat Powder
04) 1 Cake Of Tiger Blam
05) 1 Bottle Of Eno
-Clothes
01) 2 Pairs Of Green Socks
02) 8 - 10 Hangers
03) No. Of Wooden Clothes Pegs = No. Of Hangers x 2
- Misc
01) 1 Small Lock for Locker
02) 1 Small Lock for Bag
- Snacks
01) Chocolate Bars
02) Finger Packs Of Chips
First Aid Items
---------------
01) 2 Packs Of Panadol 02) 5 Packets Of Chinese Stomachache Pills 03) 1 Bottle Of Baby Powder
Stationary
----------
01) 2 Pens
02) Books And Maginzines
03) 1 Photos Album
04) 2 Black Markers
05) 1 Pocket Scissor (Foldable) 06) 1 Roll of Plastic Ziplock Bags Each(Medium, Small) 07) 1 Roll Of Clear Tapes 08) 3 Rolls of Black Tapes
Toileties
---------
01) 2 Rolls Of Toilet Papers
02) 2 Packets Of Tissue Papers 03) 1 Cake Of Soaps
04) 1 Bottle Of Detergent
05) 1 Bottle Of Deodorant
06) 1 Piece Of Towel
07) 1 Manual Shaver 08) 1 Packet Of Cotton Buds
Clothes
-------
01) 6 - 8 Pieces Of Underwears
Misc
----
01) $20 Dollar Cash
02) ATM Card
03) 1 Lighter 04) 1 Nail Clipper
05) Black Rubber Bands 06) 1 Pair of Slippers (Flip Flops)
07) 1 Swimming Goggle
08) 1 Radio 09) 3 Piece Of Rags
10) 1 Alarm Clock 11) Extra Handphone Batteries
12) 1 Handphone 13) 5 Plastic Bags 14) 1 Packet Of Batteries 15) 1 Wallet
I learnt from the auntie there that the clothes pegs need to be woooden ones. Plastics ones are not allowed.
The T-shorts, singlets and shorts that I bought yesterday was just nice for my present build. Hmm... I think I need to get them changed to a bigger size so that I could wear them for a longer period.
As for socks... I need to get green ones. I will need to comfirm with the auntie again to make sure.
Locks... Need to get 2 small locks with 3 keys to spare.
I also need to comfirm with the auntie on the size of the L Touch. I have one at home, but I don't know if it is of the correct size.
Books... The most likely situation is that I will go to the library and borrow some books.
This might be good news actually... No news from her means that she don't have any problems. At least that what I hope is the situation.
After all the buying of my National Sevice items yesterday, what's left now is the packing of the items. Zixian had said that my list is very short, comparing to his list, it seems that I missed out a lot. Have to double check my list again and find out what are the things left to be bought.
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.
AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girl friend with the following note: I don't remember which one you are.
"Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
Had a meeting with Zixian in the late morning. On the way to meet Zixian at Lavender MRT Station, something interesting happened to me. I boarded the bus to Lavender MRT Station, the bus was quite crowded... I had little choice of seats to choose from. So I just sat down on the first vacant seat that I chanced on.
Sitting right beside me was someone I dreaded... A "BIG ass", "BIG shoulder" and "BIG Balls" man was sitting there. If he is in the business of "Leg Open Big Big, Earn Big Big Money", he would be one of the millionaires in Singapore.
His freaking BIG ass has already covered three quarter of the bus' 2-seater seat. He could seem to be able to close his legs to a minimum due to his freaking BIG balls. He has to open his damn leg fat legs to air his precious family jewel. His shoulders almost took up more than three quarter of the seat.
The only reason why I did not ask him to sit properly is because his biceps are thicker than my ankle. I won't want to get bashed by a Raging Gorilla...
Lucky for me, he at last alighted at Paya Lebar. After he has alighted, I got all the space to myself. You all should try fitting onto a quarter of the seat. Not an easy feat, I could say...
Anyway, I arrived at Lavender MRT Station at around 11.35am. Zixian had SMSed me that he will be late by 15 minutes. SO I waited on admiring the people walking pass me, all hurrying for somewhere...
After a rough 10 minutes, Zixian arrived. We proceeded to the Beach Road Market to get my National Service items...
We spent some time at the market choosing out the Army wares to be bought. I spent a total of $46 dollars on the T-shorts, singlets, shorts, Ziplock bags and some black rubber bands.
We decided to move on to Suntec City for some slacking. On the way there, we chatted about Championship Manager. We exchanged pointers and potential players that are worth buying. We finally reached Suntec City in around a 40 minutes walk under the hot sun.
We had lunch at MacDonalds as the Food Court was overflowing with people. After lunch, we toyed with the idea of watching a movie to pass our time. So, we went up to the cinema and found out that the movies that they are showing were very limited and the times were not to our liking... (Hmm... Let's put as not to my liking)
I suggested going over to Orchard Cineleisure for a movie. The range of movies there was much better. We were torn by two movies: White Chicks and Dodgeball. Zixian wanted to watch White Chicks, while I preferred Dodgeball...
I did the decision by the old, traditional way... By flipping a coin. After flipping the coin for the first time, the coin returned that we should watch Dodgeball. Zixian being not convinced asked me to make another attempt at the coin tossing again. This time, we reversed the order of the movie. The result of the second toss??? My movie again... Dodgeball...
We bought the tickets for the 5.20pm show. You know those seat in front of the big screen television? Yeah, that is the one... Well, we sat there from 4.40pm up till 5.20pm watching people walking by, looking at the movie previews, which are forever "Coming Soon". "Coming Soon" to us is "You Won't Get To Watch It Cause Of National Service".
Anyway, at 5.20pm, we bought popcorn and drinks and went into the theater. It was a surprise to me that the theater was so empty. If I am not wrong, there were only 27 people watching Dodgeball.
Overall, the show was quite enjoyable. There were many funny gags and the ending was great.
After the movie, we went to Kinokuniya at Ngee Ann City. We looked at several books on soccer. After the trip at Kinokuniya, we went up to the Orchard Library. After some borrowing around, I ended up borrowing 3 books from the library.
When we reached level 1, Zixian told me that he is late for dinner. He was supposed to reach home at 7pm for dinner. So, we rushed to Orchard MRT Station and took the train back to Tanah Merah MRT Station. I was supposed to drop off at Paya Lebar MRT Station, but decided to accompany Zixian as I was the reason why he was late for dinner.
At Tanah Merah MRT Station, Zixian took a taxi home, while I waited on for a bus. I was thinking of going over to the Sans Bookshop at Heartland Mall to look for some book titles that I could not find in the Orchard Library.
It was a fine surprise that the cute girl was on duty at Sans Bookshop. I searched for the titles that I was looking for, but I couldn't find them. So, I approached the girl and asked for assistance. She tried searching for the books for quite some while, but in vain.
She checked for some moment and told me that she could only check for me tomorrow as most of the branches are closed. So, she asked me to write down the titles of the books that I want and she will help me to find them from other branches. I wrote the titles down and passed the slip back to her.
To my surprise, she actually knew my handphone number. She wrote down my handphone number next to the titles of the books and asked me to check if my handphone number was right... Whoa! She was spot on. How the heavens did she remembers my number?
My thoughts at that moment ran a bit wild... Was it because she kept my number? Was it because she is interested in me? Was it because they do not get many reservations? So many questions came to me... I actually blushed on the spot. I was dumbfounded. Noticing that I am speechless, I quickly said my goodbyes and left...
On the way back home, I actually felt good for no reasons. I really wonder why...
Headline on Yahoo yesterday morning: Experts Predict Mount St. Helens Eruption
Now, does it really take a fucking expert? The thing is has been rumbling for days. Water is rushing from the north face of it. I might not be an "expert" but as soon as that thing shook once, I predicted it would soon erupt. Guess "Dana Predicts Mount St. Helens Eruption" isn't much of a headline. Experts. Bah!
Well, Chee Ho was formerly tutored by me before I handed him over to Valerie due to some difficulties in fitting his schedule into mine. Chee Ho is presently in the Secondary 3 Normal Academic Stream.
Valerie called me this evening to ask me a question, which she had difficulty in solving, from one of Chee Ho's Mathematics assessment books. Here goes the question:
--------------------------------------
360 = 2(a) X 3(b) X 5(c)
(*) --> To The Power Of
Solve the following problem.
--------------------------------------
Valerie had no idea how to solve this problem... So she approached me and asked me the question. I directed the questions to Christine, hoping a NUS student could solve it. At that moment, I didn't try to solve it yet.
Christine called back 20 minutes later, telling me that she couldn't solve the problem. She has tried using Simultaneous Equation, Algebra and Algorithm, but still she couldn't solve the problem.
While that, Valerie still has no idea on how to solve the problem.
Me? Haha... I actually solved the problem... BUT... I solved it using an Add Mathematics method... In another words, I totally can't solve the problem too. Secondary 3 Normal Academic... Where got so hard one? It seems that the question can't be solved using normal solutions...
At the end of the day, I called Valerie and told her that I couldn't come up with the solution... She too had also given up on trying and left Chee Ho's place.
Can someone please enlightening me the solution for the problem above?
Anyway, I will be going to Beach Road Market to get my National Service items with Zixian tomorrow. Meeting him at 11am at Lavender MRT Station. Plans are that after we get my National Service stuffs, we will hang on at City Hall. He also told me to bring a bag along... The problem is how big should the bag be? Judging from my list, I think a medium one will do.
Hope that I will not be late... Need to sleep early today to wake up in time for tomorrow.
1) Summary of Medical Status Letter
2) Enlistment Letter
3) I/C
Things To Buy
-------------
- Beach Road
01) 2 sets of Army T-shirts
02) 2 sets of Army Singlets
03) 2 sets of Army Shorts
04) 3 Rolls of Black Tapes
05) 1 Roll Of Clear Tapes
05) 1 Roll of Plastic Ziplock Bags Each(Medium, Small)
06) Black Rubber Bands
- Watsons
01) 1 Bottle Of YokoYoko
02) 1 bottle Of Medical Oil
03) 1 Snake Brand Prickly Heat Powder
04) 1 Cake Of Tiger Blam
05) 1 Bottle Of Eno
To those who wear contact lenses, remove them when you have to attend a BBQ party or
whatsoever that got to do with flames...
I heard a horrible true story about contact lenses... It happened to a 21 year old guy, he wore a pair of contact lenses during a barbecue party. While, he was barbecuing, he stared at the fire charcoals.
After a few seconds, he started to scream for help and moved rapidly, jumping up and down. No one in the party knew why... When he arrived at the hospital, the doctor said he'll be blind permanently, courtesy of the contact lenses that he had worn.
Contact lenses are made by plastics, and the heat from the charcoal melted his contact lenses. So, tell all your friends...
DO NOT WEAR CONTACT LENSES WHERE OVERHEATING AND FLAMES ARE CONCERNED...
When you love somebody,
You wouldn't mind her/his past...
Her/his background...
And just shower her/him with all the love you have...
Whatever wrong and bad she/he did,
You can forgive and forget...
When you don't love that somebody anymore,
You will start ignoring her/his messages...
Her/his calls...
And show less concern to her/him..
When you love that somebody,
You will see her/him as the most wonderful gift sent from heaven...
She/he is almost to perfection in your eyes...
When you don't love that somebody anymore,
You will tell her/him honestly and ask for her/his views cause a one sided love won't have any future...
When you love that somebody,
You will give up anything...
Forsake everything...
For her/him....
When you don't love that somebody anymore,
You will find her/him a nuisance...
A bee...
Pestering you day and night...
When you don't love that somebody anymore,
You will try to forget the memories you have with her/him...
Does everlasting love really exist?
Why is it so many people is yearning for it,
yet taken it for granted after having it...
Is love a blessing or just merely a sweet dream?
After you wake up...
Everything is forgotten...
Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life it was on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease. As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room.
School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon. There'd be sleep-overs, and parties; she was so happy. It's just the way she wanted her life to be.
On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be because I just got a date with the star of the team!"
To be known in this school you had to have a clout, and dating this guy would sure help her out. There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date.
"Well, I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?"
Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night.
Her parents frowned but said, "All right."
Excited, she got ready for the big event. But as she rushed around like she had no
sense, she began to feel guilty about all the lies. But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride?
Well the pizza was good, and the party was great. But the moonlight ride would have to wait.
For Jeff was half drunk by this time.
She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble. And heard, call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!
Voices she heard... A few words at best.
But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck.
Then wondered to herself if Jeff was all right, and if the people in the other car was alive.
She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad.
"You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad." These voices echoed inside her head,as they gently told her that Jeff was dead.
They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you too." "But the people in the other car!? "Jenny cried. "We're sorry, Jenny, they also died." Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done. I only wanted to have just one night of fun."
"Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, and wish I could return their families to them."
"Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, and that it's my fault so many have died. Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?"
The nurse just stood there. She never agreed.But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes.
And a few moments later Jenny died.
A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best? To bid that girl her one last request?"
She looked at the man with eyes so sad.
"Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad."
This story is sad and unpleasant but true,
So young people take heed, it could have been you.
For all you people who say,
"I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly!!!
Something to ponder upon...
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?
- It isn't love, it's LIKE.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her/him?
- It isn't love, it's LUST.
Are you proud, and eager to show her/him off?
- It isn't love, it's LUCK.
Do you want her because you know she's/he's there?
- It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.
Are you with her/him because it's what everyone wants?
- It isn't love, it's LOYALTY.
Are you with her because she/he kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.
Do you stay for her/him confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her/him?
- It isn't love, it's PITY.
Do you belong to her/him because the sight of her/him makes your heart skip a beat?
- It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.
Do you pardon her faults because you care about her/him?
- It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.
Do you tell her/him every day she is the only one you think of?
- It isn't love, it's a LIE.
Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
- It isn't love, it's CHARITY.
=====================================
Does your heart ache and break when she's sad?
- Then it's LOVE.
Do you cry for her/his pain, even when she's/he's strong?
- Then it's LOVE.
Do her/his eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
- Then it's LOVE.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her/him?
- Then it's LOVE.
Do you accept her/his faults because it's a part of who she/he is?
- Then it's LOVE.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with her/him faithfully without regret??
- Then it's LOVE.
Would you give her/him your heart, your life, your death?
- Then it's LOVE.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's... LOVE.
It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.
Love hurts our feeling, but it's also the reason why our soul heal...
But one day when you truly fall in love... Remember to let the 'someone' know...
To suffer a moment of embarassment is better than letting your happiness fly away forever...
It seems that my blog entry last night has some misleading details. A lot of my friends all questioned me for the whole night, asking tons of questions. All the questioning and answering cost me the night of sleep and more headaches.
I felt that there is a need to clear the air up.
In my previous post, I mentioned that there were 5 girls in my life. Vivien, Sara, Valerie, Jasmine and Fiona. But only two among all of them have made significant changes in my life.
I wish to clarify this. ONLY Vivien, Sara and Valerie are my past girlfriends. Jasmine and Fiona were NEVER my girlfriends. They are just normal friends to me.
A lot of friends have asked me this question last night. "Since Fiona had a liking for you, why don't you try accepting her? Why you still going so close to Valerie even she is married?"
Let me explain this. It is not that I didn't try to accept Fiona and Valerie is just a close friend to me. The reason why I am always with Valerie is because she really made me feel very close to her.
As for Fiona... She is a girl who had fantasies about love. In her view, a guy MUST always take the initiative, and pay for everything. She also expects a guy to be very defined. She calls that Gentlemanly. It is not that I am unwilling to part with money or indecisive. It is just there are some times where a guy can't make up his mind or he is facing a tight cash flow. When I go out with Fiona, I felt a certain pressure and some unease. I need to watch my actions at all time.
It is a different case with Valerie... When I am with Valerie, I am able to be myself. When I speak, I do not need to watch my words. When we dine out, she occasionally offers to pay for the meals. She told me this once and it is always on my mind.
"When you have money, you pay for it. When I have, I pay for it. This way, both of us can balance our finances and have more meals together. It doesn't matter who pays for the meal as long as we enjoyed it."
Whenever I couldn't make up my mind, Valerie will just suggest another place and from there, we work it out.
What I can say is that Valerie is a new age girl, who thinks of the future instead of the present. The way she works is like we share everything regardless good or bad.
But for Fiona, although she is good natured and refined, she expects a lot to be coming from the guy. She puts a lot of pressure on the guy with the way she works.
OK... I know... Valerie has her bad side too. Temperamental and easily jealous. She actually committed suicide when we parted ways. She married that guy out to spite me. But other than these, I could find more reasons to make her sound worse. The things she did were her own decisions and she is responsible for her own actions.
But anyway, at the end of the day, both of them are friends to me. I do not have any special feelings towards the both of them.
I didn't go to the Perlini's Sliver VIP Cardholder Preview Sale today. I actually woke up with a headache once again. I couldn't believe it. This is the 4th time I am having a headache for the past 7 days.
All I did today was something that I should have during ages ago. That is clearing out my SMS Inbox on my 3 handphones. There are too much of old and unwanted SMSes since the old days.
While browsing through the SMSes, a lot of memories were relieved. Vivien, Sara, Valerie, Jasmine and Fiona. All these girls in my life. Only two among all of them have made significant changes in my life.
Vivien, my first and the most beloved first girlfriend. The girl whom I still loved the most till this day. I can never forget her regardless how long it takes.
Sara, might be the last girlfriend I will have. The girl who gave her world to me without any conditions. The girl whom understands me the most and the girl who will never flare up at me at any situation including PMS. The girl who I cared the most for.
Both of them have left me due to unexpected circumstances. One due to her accident and did not want to be a burden to me. The other, I give up in order to let her achieve her dreams. I felt that God has been very unfair to me. He introduced these two important girls into my life, let them turn my world totally upside down, soar the skies with them and only to let me fall down to earth once again.
These are some of the SMSes that brings back memories.
"..... Evening time ba..... We go for makan... Ba... Coz me have dance until 6pm... We meet 7pm u."
- The first SMS that I got from Sara after wooing her for 2 years, 2 months and 4 days.
"Later want to have dinner? I finish early today."
- Despite of having a tight lesson time table, she made time to wait for me for dinner. Noted: Her lesson finished at 2pm. Mine finished at 7pm.
"Will b droppin by tomoro to make breakfast for u."
- Her lesson was at 8am. She came to my house at 5.30am to make breakfast for me without waking me up. Tampines to Hougang, Hougang back to Tampines, Tampines to Clementi.
"Bck in Spore. Its been a long time. How r u?"
- The first message that I got from Vivien after she left without a word 6 years ago.
"Can I call you tonite? I really missed you."
- Valerie's SMS after she got married for a month of so.
"Need help with this. D ratio of e no. of bks dat Lina had 2 e no of Suling is 1:2. Aft Lina bought 24 new books, e ratio became 2:1. How many bks did Lina hv at 1st?"
- LOL... This is a primary school Maths question, and she being 24, can't solve this sum. OMG...
"I been trying to look for something. Don't ask me what it is, cause you know it yourself. Yah, that thing I am looking for is YOU. Happy Anniversary."
- 4th anniversary with Sara.
Well, these will be all that I am revealing.
How could things go so wrong? Looking back in the past, those were the happiest days of my life. Those days were carefree, no worries and the least thought provoking ones I ever had. It was what had happened that changed me to a much cunning, lazy, useless, scheming person. How I wish that I could go back to those days and be myself once again.
The situation, circumstances and environment had forbade me to be myself, changing me into what I am not. All I can do now is to forsake the original me and continue living as the new me. Like it or not, I will have to live with it for the rest of my life.
A new ME for a new day's beginning. "Will I ever smell, taste and find Love once again?" ,I always ask myself...
As for the answer, I will never get to find that out...
I sat alone another day.
The world was moving all around me,
But it seemed as if my life was in a standstill.
The doctors say its anxiety.
Everyone thinks anxiety means nervousness or fear,
But it is deeper than that.
Anxiety holds you prisoner.
You can't leave your house.
Ding
Dong
Ding
Dong
The doorbell rings but I can't answer.
There is too much fear inside.
You can't answer the phone.
Ring
Ring
Ring
"Telephone for you!" my family yells.
I tell them to say that I will call back,
But I won't.
You can't eat.
Chomp
Bite
Chew
No, not me. The anxiety even controls that.
All the pain rushes back up,
With every little thing I eat.
You can't go out.
Step
Step
Step
Everyone walking around me,
But I can't move,
the apprehension paralyzes me.
Everyone says, "Be brave. You can do it. You'll make it out of this."
But sometimes I wonder if I will.
I try to combat it all,
but if I attempt to do anything,
It all starts over again.
Thump
Thump
Thump
My heart beats faster and faster.
I can feel it in my chest.
Beads of sweat
Racing
Falling
Running down my forehead.
All the thoughts swarm in my brain.
The fear picks up.
It is unbearable.
I'm so frightened,
But I don't know what of.
The paranoia sweeps over my body like a giant wave.
Every day I have to fight what seems to be a losing battle.
But then... I look outside.
I see the colors.
I see the life.
I see spirit.
I know I can do this.
There are a lot of things weighting on my mind at the moment. Both my problems and friends' problems...
I went downstair to clear out the letter box as it has been a week since I last opened the letter box. As expected, there were a lot of junk. After clearing all the useless letters and paper, I was left with a unexpected large pile of letters. Among them, was an exclusive invitation from Perlini's Silver. It was an invitation for tomorrow's VIP Cardholder Preview Sale. I got 3 Extra Entry Passes... Wonder who I should go with...
:Posted By: 
