April: 01st - April Fool's Day 01st - Syahrul's Birthday 02nd - Avril Lavigne Bonez Tour 03rd - Mum's Blood Test @ KK 05th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 07th - Justin ORD 10th - Mum's Surgery @ KK Hospital 12th - Aaron's Brthday 13th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 13th - Opening Of (Eight Below) 12th - Opening Of Movie (Firewall) 14th - Good Friday Holiday 17th - Gary's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday Celebration
23rd - Emil & Jonathon Concert 05
26th - Andy Lim's Birthday
May:
01st - Progress Reward Banked In
01st - Labour Day Holiday
01st - Jennifer's Birthday
05th - Opening Of Movie (MI:3)
09th - Winnie's Birthday
12th - Vesak Day Holiday
18th - Opening Of (Da Vinci Code)
25th - Opening Of Movie (X-Men 3)
:: Wish Upon A Star ::
01) A Girlfriend? Let Fate Decide It
02) More Incoming Funds (Money)
03) Apple iPod Video 30 GB ($548)
04) Complete My National Service
05) A Handphone (Nokia N91)
06) A New Wallet
07) New Adidas Watch
08) Apple iMac G5
09) Looking For Pen Pals
:: Current Config ::
Typing On:
- HP iPAQ rx3715
[Samsung S3C 2440 Processor]
[152MB Internal Memory]
[1GB Scandisk SD-Card]
[64K Transflective type QVGA TFT]
[Integrated WLAN 802.11b]
[Integrated Bluetooth]
[1.2 MegaPixels Camera]
[PocketPC Windows Mobile 2003]
- IBM Thinkpad T22
[Intel® Mobile Pentium-III 900MHz]
[1GB RAM]
[60GB IBM HDD]
[64MB ATI Mobility RADEON 7500]
[DVD/CD-RW Drive]
[Iomega USB 250MB ZIP Drive]
[14.1" TFT Active Display Matrix]
[Internal Lucent V.90 Modem]
[Intel PRO/1000 Gbps Ethernet]
[Windows 2000 Professional]
- My Own Personnal Rig
[Intel Pentium-IV 1.7GHz]
[Asus P4P800 Deluxe]
[512MB x 2 Kingston DDR400 D43]
[80GB DiamondMax Plus 9 HDD]
[128MB NVIDIA GeForce4 Ti 4200]
[Creative Audigy 2 Platinum]
[Internal Toshiba DVD-ROM Drive]
[Internal Pioneer DVD-RW Drive]
[External Plextor CD-RW Drive]
[Internal Iomega 250MB Zip Drive]
[17" ViewSonic CRT Monitor GS771]
[smartNIC PnP Network Adapter]
[Altec Lansing ACS 44]
[Windows XP Professional]
Pan Wei Bo
Bu De Bu Ai
Wang Li Hom
Kiss Goodbye
Cyndi Wang Xin Ling
Ai Ni
Yan Cheng Xu
Yi Gong Chi
Lin Jun Jie
Cao Cao
Wang Li Hom
Forever Love
Wu Ke Qun
Wu Ke Qun
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Yi Lu Ziang Bei
S.H.E
Tian Hui
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Gui Ji
Zhang Jing Xuan
My Way
Jolin Cai Yi Ling
Ye Man You Xi
Jay Zhou Jie Lun & Lara
Shan Wu Hai
Wang Li Hom
Ni Bu Zai
Lena Park
Moon
S.H.E
Ai Ne
Akon
Lonely
Alicia Keys
Karma
S.H.E
Xing Guang
B.O.A
Alantis Princess
Xiao Ya Xuan
Di Xia Tie
F.I.R
You Make Me Wanna Fall In Love
Jolin Cai Yi Lin
Hai Dao
Jackie Chan & Jin Xi Shan
Shen Hua
Horoscope for Scorpio 17 April 2006 ~ 23 April 2006
You need to keep busy doing things that you both enjoy. Think twice before you say something you might regret later. Take care of any pressing medical problems that you or one of your parents may be suffering from. Outdoor sports events should entice you.
Since The CopyRight Rule Has Surfaced In Singapore, I Guess, This Portion Is To Be Taken Away. Sorry, People.
:: Site Rules ::
Rules? What rules? There are absolutely no rules. Steal, plagiarize, insult, vandalize, pee, lick, stare, drool, undergo mental sexual stimulation, worship. Whatever you want to do, just do it and don't tell me. HTML coding and decoding are done solely by me, I don't use blog templates. Best viewed in...
IE 5 & Above
800 x 600 Resolution
Unicode UTF-8 Encoding
Full Screen Mode
(Press F11)
By the way, this site is not dialup friendly. (Bandwidth Intensive)
:: Looking For ::
:: Lots Of Thanks ::
Monday, May 31, 2004
Had a great lunch with my mum at the Hougang Street 21 hawker centre. While my mum went to Heartland Mall for some shopping, I went to the nearby fish shop to look at some fishes. Was ready to go home when my mum met Miss Marie, my primary school art teacher. She still look very beautiful despite being 34. I used to like her a lot and her lessons is the only subject which I behaved myself.
Another person I saw today was Geraldine, my secondary school junior. She did not recognised me as she walked passed me. She has really grown up and changed. When I first know her, she was quite a tomboy, but now she is tall and pretty.
Went out with Jac for 3 hours or so. She told me that something happened between Sara and her a few days back. After hearing her out, I concluded that it is just a small mishap, nothing to worry about. Had a long coffee chat with her, catching up on matters ranging from her relationship with Reeve to things like planning our gathering. We used to be the best of partners in secondary school days. Left Dome at 9.15pm. Sent her home before going home.
Val called me today again. I did not pick up the phone as I saw that it was from her. Afraid to pick up her calls. I don't want to give her false hopes, but at the same time, I know I will feel very guilty if she decides to do anything foolish again. After listening to Zixian's advice, I think I will just try my best to minimise my contact with her.
Another day had passed and 24 hours seems so slow when we are into holidays. Didn't surf the web much today, so no pictures or clips today.
Had a bad night sleep. Couldn't sleep well for some reasons unknown to me. Turning and tossing again until 4am before I collapsed on my sofa bed.
Heard from Goujiu that Zixian, Eugene and him will be going to the gym in the morning and taking a 3 hours swim after gym at Bedok Swimming Complex. Talked myself out of joining them, as I did not have a good rest last night.
I am supposed to meet my cousin today to go to the Creative Warehouse Sales. He wants to get a MP3 player like mine. But he had to call it off as he was asked to report for work at the last minute. Wasted my afternoon waiting for him...
Since I had nothing to do for the afternoon, I sent Sara home at 3pm. Had a minor quarrel with her in the car over the stupidest thing of all. After dropping her off, I went to get some food and fill up the car.
Don't know what are my plans for the afternoon. Waiting for people to ask me out. LOL...
Vijay just told me that he had moved house. Congrats to him. This time, it will be a bigger and nicer house. His address will be 681 Changi Road. Visiting hours is anytime I want!!! Haha. I am going to visit him in the midst of the night at 3am. Haha. How evil can I get...
Just returned from Leonard's place. People, please stop me next time if I mention that I will be going to Leonard's place. The BBQ was so boring. Nothing much to do at all. No one brought any cards nor arranged any activities. The food was not that good too except for the chicken wings.
Anyway, I arrived at the BBQ at around 6.10pm. Started the BBQ at around 6.40pm. Left the BBQ at 11.10pm. Throughout the whole day,the only thing I did there at the BBQ was eat and ponder about my future. Worried about my future. Don't know if I should go to university or just work after my NS.
Saw a few couples at the BBQ. A bit disappointed as Sara was not here. She had a last minute meeting in the evening, so therefore wasn't able to turn up for the BBQ.
But we managed to meet each other when she wanted to drive me back. She looked so tired, so I took over the wheel. When we reached my place, she was so tired that she felt asleep in the car. Had to carry her out of the car and to my home. My poor darling... Working so hard and having so little time for sleep. With that little time that she has left, she still have to meet me. Wished that we could meet lesser so that she can have her rest.
Well, have already planned a holiday for both of us. We will be going to Japan!!! It is one of the countries that Sara loves the most. We will most likely be setting off around 10th of June depending on my medical checkup and passport clearance.
Oh ya! Elaine is down with Stomach Flu. Poor her. Hope that she recover soon.
Almost forget to tell you guys that the photos for the BBQ is over at the Pictorial Memories section under "BBQ At Leonard's".
Just saw that there will be "Miss America" pageant tonight on Channel 5. Now, I really regret going to Leonard's place. His parents are not the type who will appreciate this kind of shows. LOL...
Just managed to find Kaicheng. Told him about the BBQ this evening. Will comfirm meeting place and time later because no one arranged a meeting.
Felling extremely tired. Slept at 3.30am yesterday night and wake up at 7.15am this morning. Keep tossing and turning on the bed. Still don't know the reason why I can't sleep.
There will be a class BBQ later at Leonard's house at 6pm. Will be meeting the gang earlier to go over. Heard that Zixian, Goujiu and Eugene are going tfor a swim in the afternoon before going to Leonard's. Should I join them?
Poor Dilah. She has to carry 6kg of chicken to Leonard's. That is almost 1/5 of her weight. She seriously need help. Haha...
Oh ya. Think I will be going for the class BBQ this evening. Although I running on low funds, I think I give Leonard face. Leonard, if you reading this, I tell you hor. I no money to pay you. Pay you when I have money. Haha...
People going for the BBQ:
1. Guojiu
2. ZiXian
3. MeiFang
4. Leonard
5. Dilah
6. Me
These are those of I know of. The rest not sure. Heard he invited other people whom we don't know too. I sort of regret telling him I will go after hearing this.
Just got home from Tampines. Had a good and fantastic meal today. I had a St.Louis Pork Ribs, while Christine had Chocolate Gateway & 3 slices of bread. You can view the pictures of the food & Christine at the photo section under "Dinner With Christine".
BTW, we saw Andy and Elaine. When I first saw Elaine, I wasn't sure that it's her, so did not take a further look. Unexpectedly, Elaine called me and said that she was in Cafe Cartel too. I went over and said hello. Andy was there too.
Ready to leave the house now. Had just done an IQ test. Got some interesting result from it.
The True IQ Test
Congratulations, Benson!
Your IQ score is 113
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the True IQ Test relative to others.
Your Intellectual Type is Precision Processor. This means you're exceptionally good at discovering quick solutions to problems, especially ones that involve math or logic. You're also resourceful and able to think on your feet. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.
Boring day!!! Bored till the extent that I am looking forward to my doctor visit on 3rd of June. Then I will have to report to CMPD about my status and they will make a decision if I can undergo NS. Hopefully, I could, I don't want to be a clerk...
My mum paged for my dad for hours now, and he still yet to return call or anything. My mum is getting very worried. I don't think that anything bad happened; maybe he is just too busy to call back.
People out there, please I beg you please. Recommend me jobs. I desperately need money now. Running on extremely low funds.
Still wondering if I should meet Christine for dinner tonight. Also considering about tomorrow's BBQ.
Christine called and requested that we meet for dinner tonight at 8pm at Tampines Cafe Cartel. Feeling very sianz... Not in the mood of going out tonight, but it's hard to reject a long time friend. Got to check if I have enough funds for the food first.
Still yet to make up my mind if I should go for the class BBQ. Currently running on low funds... Any sponsor?
Here's a small funny movie file for your entertainment.
Korean Clip
10 steps to enjoying each other better...
1. Be realistic about each other.
Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.
2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to express urself better so that ur partner understands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.
3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccer with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!
4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy... There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.
5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him... so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.
6. Respect each other.
Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask yourself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.
7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals... don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would just make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel unhappy and she might think that u saying all this because u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore.
8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru spells of insecurity at the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru the relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.
9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make your partner your priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take you to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises you can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to you, you may just lose him/her.
10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? æ Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it!
My mum is driving me fucking mad today. She keeps on ranting away asking me to pack my room. All she knows how to do is to rant on and on even if I told her I have done so. Driving me nuts!!!
Manchester United had successful sign Alan Smith from Leeds United. A bit sad to see him go to Manchester United as they are a rival team.
Well, Love is not a strange thing. It is something that needs perseverence and hard work.
Try loving someone as a friend. It is easy to love someone when you are having a good time together. How about when THE person have some bad habits that you cannot tolerate?
When he or she irritates you?
Love come in when this happens. Decide to love the person.
No matter what happens.......even when he/she says something hurtful at you....when he or she really did not agree with what you say........
Love means accepting the person for he or she is. (If the person is doing something really wrong, you have to correct him/her lah..)
The main point is "Love is a decision".
It is not only a feeling that makes you "float".
Went to Orchard library today. On one hand, to return my overdue books, the other to just kill time in the library. Spent the whole day in the library reading novels, magazines, comics and some books relating to Java. It's been sometime since I touched Java. May need to brush up to get ready for future jobs prospects.
Christine just called me and told me that she had successfully enrolled into NUS. I begin to feel that around my friends, I am the most useless one. Although I did well for my Year 3, but basing on my studies throughout my poly years, it is almost impossible for me to get into a local university. Feeling damn useless compared to Christine, Joyce and others. I considered myself to be on par with them, yet I let myself down by not performing during my poly years.
Rotted at home today. Not much was done. Usual clearing of old notes and VCD shows.
Just read on Liverpoolfc that Gerard Houllier has resigned from Liverpool. Well, that's what he get for having so much bad results throughout this season. Feel a little pity as it was the reserves which are at fault(They could not perform when asked to replace someone who is injured), not that his tatics sucks.
Just read the tags in Syah's tagboard. Found out that the guys arranged a BBQ at Leon-nerd's house. But I have yet to recieve any news anout it from anyone. No one SMSed me or anything. Guess I am uninvited this holiday gathering.
Went out with my parents today to Singapore Expo. They wanted to take a look at the Buddhist exhibitions, which are making the news these few days. Anyway, today is the last day of the exhibits. My parents asked my aunt and cousins along.
When we got there, we were in for a shock. There is an extremely long queue waiting to get into the exhibition hall. The person-in-charge told us that the estimated waiting time to get into the halls would be around 4 hours! My mum changed her mind after hearing this. We ended up walking through other exhibition halls. My cousin took fancy to a digital camera, which was on sale, She wanted to buy it, but her mum was not keen on spending $450 on a digital camera, while they still have a working camera. Had Burger King for lunch. My aunt and mum went to the home decoration exhibition hall to take a look. The "take a look" lasted for 2 hours plus. My cousins and I were just sitting at BK, wondering what was taking them so long to take a look.
Went to Airport for dinner. I suggested going to Popeye Chicken for dinner since they can't make up their minds on the place to eat. It is the first time my aunt, cousins and parents tasted Popeye Chicken and they liked it. My dad went to order more and in total, we spent $70.60 on Popeye Chicken. After dinner, we went to the viewing gallery for some relaxation. We found a lot of students there, studying their ass off for the coming exams. Lucky for my cousins and me, we have finished our exams and are able to afford to have fun. We looked at planes taking off and looking at the procedures of preparing a plane.
At around 9.40pm, we left and headed back to our individual homes.
Sara's mum and younger sister is flying to New Zealand at 8pm today and she hasn't got bought a gift yet. Went out with her to buy a gift. Window-shopped around Orchard before deciding to just buy a card for them. Left Orchard at 4pm to the Airport.
Reached the airport at 5.20pm. Sara's family is already at the airport because they are required to check in 2 hours earlier. Bided her mum and sister goodbye. We made plans for the evening and decided to go off right after her mum went through the immigrations. Sara's father offered to give us a lift to our destination, but we said that we would be fine taking public transport, knowing that out privacy will be greatly reduced, as her father is a very strict person.
Took MRT to City Hall. We shopped around Raffles City, CityLink, Marina Square and Suntec City. Over at Suntec City, I bought a shirt, which I been looking for the past 2 months. The original price was $65.90, but since it is on sale, it cost $39.90 now. By the time we finish shopping, we wanted to watch a movie, but we are unable to find a movie, which suited to our moods.
So we decided to just find a place to sit around, sipping coffee and have a nice time talking. We went to NYDC and ordered a "Hot Chocolate" for her and a "Iced Tea" for myself. The atmosphere was very nice. Songs (Love Is All Around, 25 Minutes, Cry Me A River,, etc), which both of us enjoyed a lot when we were in the initial stage of the relationship. We started to talk about the past when we are introduced to the present day. A lot of things had happened and we went through a lot to get to this day. By the time, we finish our drink, we realised that it is 11.20pm. We got to get moving soon, as our last bus is at 11.30pm. I quickly paid the bill and we ran to the bus stop. We had a small competition, as to whoever arrives at the bus stop second, will be the one who will do a forfeit.
As usual, I was faster than her and she brought up a lot of excuses why she lost. Ended up, there is no forfeit for her. Well, that's the way we always are. Send her home to her doorsteps, before bidding her good night and left. An extremely enjoyable day today.
Val called and asked me to the hospital to see her baby. I told her that if I were to go over, I will be only visiting her baby, but not her. (As chinese tradition goes, guys except her husband, should not be visit anyone who just gave birth during a 12 day period). Well, she sounded disappointed, but after I explained myself, she was OK with it.
Went to the hospital and took a look at the baby. Mike was there with Sher, another close friend of Val and mine. It was some time since I last saw Sher. After fussing over the baby, I managed to caught up with Sher about happenings which happened to us both. Found out that Chris and gang are doing fine and completing NS soon. We exchanged our contacts and parted for home.
Arranged to meet Sara at City Hall MRT at 4pm to have my lunch. Had my lunch at Burger King at Raffles City. While lunch, I found out what Sara was doing yesterday. She was shopping! I sure have expected it. This will burn a hole in my pocket for sure. Shopped around CityLink for some time before discussing with her what I should do about Val. She said that she trusts me and it's OK for her if she can't tag along tomorrow. Thank heavens that she is very understanding.
Since it was early for her to head home, we headed to my home. We packed my room together and had dinner together. She headed back home at 8.30pm after watching Channel U's Monkey God.
Plan to slack for the remaining night instead of thinking too much. When tomorrow comes, then that will be the time which I will make a decision.
Woke up with a pain in the neck. Must be the position that I slept yesterday night.
Recieved an SMS from Val at 10.15am that she will be undergoing Ceasearean Section in the afternoon today. She asked me if I can go to the hospital as soon as possible. I wasn't in the mood to go at such a time, especially since Mike is there for her. So I called back and told her that I will not be able to visit her today, but I will be able to drop by the hospital tomorrow to visit her. After I hang up, I was thinking if I should get Sara to go with me tomorrow or not. I am afraid that the sight of Sara will aggravate Val's condition since she will be weak after the operation.
Spent the day out of the house. Saw a message from Fiona saying that she had a bad arguement with her second sister. Since I do not have plans for the afternoon, I decided to meet her and talk things out.
Went to TP at around 11.20am. Arranged with that Daniel Chia to collect my portfolio.Chatted with the lecturers for some time before saying a final goodbye to the school.
Met Fiona in the afternoon to slack the day away. We went to catch Troy at Orchard Lido Cinema. The movie is not as good as review had put it to be. It is sort of disappointing for me, as I expected better battle scenes. The movie finished at around 5.20pm. Fiona suggested that we go bowling. I didn't know that there is a bowling alley at Cineleisure until now. When we reached the bowling alley, we found out that there is a private function today, and there are no avaiable lanes left. Therefore, we decided to go for dinner first before making plans for the night.
Had dinner at Cuppage SnackWorld. I had a chicken cutlet, while she had a fish & chips. The food were so-so, except that the chicken and fish is over-fried(blackened). After finishing dinner, I suggested playing billard since it is just downstair. So we played until 11pm.
I sent her back home before coming home. Realised that Sara been looking for me the whole day. Tried to call her, but her phone was engaged. Will try again tomorrow.
It is a damn hot day today. Woke up at 9am, feeling damn hot even with the fan blowing directly at me. My room is in a mess. Got to continue packing and try to complete as soon as possible.
Continue with the clearing of stuff. While I was packing, I spotted something which brings back a lot of memories: A box. This box contains somethings which is extremely meaningful to me. In the box, there are a lot of letters, poems and gifts from my ex-girlfriend. These items gave me back a lot of wonderful memories which I cherished a lot. Her name is Vivien, she could be said as the girl who I loved the most in my life. By seeing the contents in the box makes me think about her even more. I been trying to hide and run away from what had happen and hope that one day, we still can be in contact. But she never gave me a chance to even see her for the last time before she left. I was extremely upset when I think about the love between the 2 of us. We were even sure that we can stay together and have each other as company for the rest of our life. We were what our friends called the understanding couple. Yet, that accident have to happen. It had robbed me of the girl, who is the most important part of my life, even til this day. I can still remember her last conversation with me. All these brings back the painful memories. My studies too declined because of this matter. Vivien is also the reason why I liked the name "Vivien" and why I am unsure of relationships.
Hopefully one day, I will be able to let this go and love once more. But before that day, I will still be the same me, who thinks of her, blame myself and regret.
Nothing much happened today. Since I have completed my studies, I decided to rearrange my notes and stuffs.
I started to arrange my things at around 11.40am, found out there is a lot of things to be packed. There are notes from my poly year 1 til the present day. I looked through all the notes again and find out what I have been learning these years. I realised that I can't recall what I have learnt for some subjects during my poly year 1 and 2. It was pathetic when I saw my past year exams questions and answers. They seem so easy to me now, but why did I find them so hard to comprehend during those years? Well, thank god that I have made my way out of those years.
By the time I cleared out half of my notes, the time was 8pm. It's time for dinner, and maybe I will continue to clear them tomorrow. Got to catch "Nip/Tuck" tonight on channel 5.
Today is just a normal and boring day. My relatives came over to my house yesterday and there is a lot of cleaning to do. Anyway, the situation at home is improving. My parents have lesser arguments as both of them tried their best to lessen the arguments and talk things out calmly. That is a good sign for me.
Went to the Tampines library with Sara at 1pm in the afternoon. We went to borrow some books to help ourselves to pass the time during the holidays. We also went to a travel agency and looked at some travel promotions. We took some brochures, mainly on Europe trips. We had planned for a trip for this holiday initially at the start of May, but had to postpone it to later dates due to our studies commitment(waiting for results).
We parted at around 6.20pm because Sara had arranged to meet her friends at Orchard at 7pm. She actually wanted me to join them, but I was not in the mood. I wandered around Tampines Mall for a quite before going home.
When I reached home, my parents are not around. My guess is that they had some function on and left. Peace at last in the house. Just wondering if Sara wants to come over tonight, I SMSed her that my parents had left my house and asked if she wants to come over. She replied saying that she wished she could, but she can't. She is staying over at Vivien's place tonight as they had something to do. So I just said never mind and spent the day watching TV alone.
*Latest News At 10.58PM!*
Val is giving birth soon. She called and asked me to be prepared as she wanted me to be one of the first people to see the baby. I was half excited, half disgusted. I hate seeing Mike(her husband). I got something against him, bad blood runs between both of us. Well, got to get ready anytime, she told me that she is going to give birth anytime soon within these few days.
It's been a long since I last blogged. Something happened in my family and it is not easy to get through these weeks with support from friends I know. Well, I wish to thanks you guys again here if you guys are reading this. With all the things happening one after the other, you guys are the only one who kept me up and showing your support whenever I needed them.
Today is sort of a shitty day for me. Woke up in the morning to screaming voices as usually within these 2 weeks. My parents had an argument again. I tried to stay out of today's argument cause I do not want to be scold, as what I got for the whole of last week. All I can feel now is "How I hope that I can leave this house and move in with Sara now.". The noise and arguments are driving me insane. But how can I leave like this? After all, they are my parents.
The argument went on till afternoon where they both took their lunch separately. Both of them are very unhappy about something and they keep on venting their anger on me. Why so? It is so unfair. I did not wrong and yet they are venting on me. I feel so shitted up now. Don't they think about my feelings? Or all they care only is to find someone to express their unhappiness on? I feel so much like a tool. How I wish I could get out of here now.
All I want to do now is cry. Why does this have to happen to me? I am not the god-damn person who caused all these, life have its own shit way of showing you that life is unfair.
You say you love me,
I don’t hear your words,
I don’t see your actions,
I cannot understand,
How can you say such a thing,
I lie on my bed,
Thinking about you
Still wondering how you can say that,
I thought people in love did so much more,
Spend time together,
Talked on the phone,
Anything possible,
As long as it’s with them,
Perhaps if they didn’t see each other,
As often as they’d like,
When they did get together,
Fireworks would go off,
But that doesn’t happen,
Between you and I,
When the rare occasion comes,
I stay waiting for you,
You run off with your friends,
I am a second thought,
After you have your fun,
I am a back up,
In case you get bored,
You say you love me,
I do not see it,
Everything you do shows something else,
People who love each other cherish the time they have,
They spend time with each other,
Not run off somewhere else,
Yet that’s what happens,
When that rare time comes,
I don’t see a glimpse of you,
As if you hadn’t been there at all,
That’s when it hurts the most,
When I want to hold you so much,
And you go off without a word,
Couples in love don’t do that to each other,
You are afraid to say things in your own voice,
Telling me you love me or that you miss me,
Is one thing you cannot do,
If it’s your true feelings,
Then why can’t you express them,
If I feel something inside of me,
I cannot hold it in,
I have to tell the person I care for the most,
And that would be you,
You listen without response,
Just a murmur here and there,
You can’t say anything,
About feeling the same,
Written in notes or emails even,
I see what you write,
But without your voice behind it,
The words don’t mean much,
Anyone can say what they want to online,
But only true feelings can anyone say in person,
So how should I reply to all of these things,
Should I sit in the background and see what you do,
Or jump right in and let my feelings be known,
As you can see,
I am pouring out my heart,
All of my confusion,
Thinking about you,
Trying to figure out how I should feel,
I am using my brain and not my heart,
My heart is taking over and I see the choice clearly,
If you love me, I love you,
Show me you love me,
And you will see my love for you,
I don’t want to get hurt,
By opening up and being vulnerable,
But I want to so you can see,
And open up too,
I want to see who you are,
Inside and out,
Understand everything about you,
It’s all up to you,
Tell me all you are,
What you think,
Anything and everything,
And it will be love.
Got my results today. I scored not bad for this year, which is a surprise! A lot people called and asked me how I did, but I just told them that I did so-so. Not wanting to draw attention to myself. Intially, I told Guojiu and Zixian that I got 2 As & 2 Bs, but later, I called them to tell them that I told them wrongly.
At last, I have done it and is ready for the next phase of my life.
:Posted By: 
