April: 01st - April Fool's Day 01st - Syahrul's Birthday 02nd - Avril Lavigne Bonez Tour 03rd - Mum's Blood Test @ KK 05th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 07th - Justin ORD 10th - Mum's Surgery @ KK Hospital 12th - Aaron's Brthday 13th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 13th - Opening Of (Eight Below) 12th - Opening Of Movie (Firewall) 14th - Good Friday Holiday 17th - Gary's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday Celebration
23rd - Emil & Jonathon Concert 05
26th - Andy Lim's Birthday
May:
01st - Progress Reward Banked In
01st - Labour Day Holiday
01st - Jennifer's Birthday
05th - Opening Of Movie (MI:3)
09th - Winnie's Birthday
12th - Vesak Day Holiday
18th - Opening Of (Da Vinci Code)
25th - Opening Of Movie (X-Men 3)
:: Wish Upon A Star ::
01) A Girlfriend? Let Fate Decide It
02) More Incoming Funds (Money)
03) Apple iPod Video 30 GB ($548)
04) Complete My National Service
05) A Handphone (Nokia N91)
06) A New Wallet
07) New Adidas Watch
08) Apple iMac G5
09) Looking For Pen Pals
:: Current Config ::
Typing On:
- HP iPAQ rx3715
[Samsung S3C 2440 Processor]
[152MB Internal Memory]
[1GB Scandisk SD-Card]
[64K Transflective type QVGA TFT]
[Integrated WLAN 802.11b]
[Integrated Bluetooth]
[1.2 MegaPixels Camera]
[PocketPC Windows Mobile 2003]
- IBM Thinkpad T22
[Intel® Mobile Pentium-III 900MHz]
[1GB RAM]
[60GB IBM HDD]
[64MB ATI Mobility RADEON 7500]
[DVD/CD-RW Drive]
[Iomega USB 250MB ZIP Drive]
[14.1" TFT Active Display Matrix]
[Internal Lucent V.90 Modem]
[Intel PRO/1000 Gbps Ethernet]
[Windows 2000 Professional]
- My Own Personnal Rig
[Intel Pentium-IV 1.7GHz]
[Asus P4P800 Deluxe]
[512MB x 2 Kingston DDR400 D43]
[80GB DiamondMax Plus 9 HDD]
[128MB NVIDIA GeForce4 Ti 4200]
[Creative Audigy 2 Platinum]
[Internal Toshiba DVD-ROM Drive]
[Internal Pioneer DVD-RW Drive]
[External Plextor CD-RW Drive]
[Internal Iomega 250MB Zip Drive]
[17" ViewSonic CRT Monitor GS771]
[smartNIC PnP Network Adapter]
[Altec Lansing ACS 44]
[Windows XP Professional]
Pan Wei Bo
Bu De Bu Ai
Wang Li Hom
Kiss Goodbye
Cyndi Wang Xin Ling
Ai Ni
Yan Cheng Xu
Yi Gong Chi
Lin Jun Jie
Cao Cao
Wang Li Hom
Forever Love
Wu Ke Qun
Wu Ke Qun
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Yi Lu Ziang Bei
S.H.E
Tian Hui
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Gui Ji
Zhang Jing Xuan
My Way
Jolin Cai Yi Ling
Ye Man You Xi
Jay Zhou Jie Lun & Lara
Shan Wu Hai
Wang Li Hom
Ni Bu Zai
Lena Park
Moon
S.H.E
Ai Ne
Akon
Lonely
Alicia Keys
Karma
S.H.E
Xing Guang
B.O.A
Alantis Princess
Xiao Ya Xuan
Di Xia Tie
F.I.R
You Make Me Wanna Fall In Love
Jolin Cai Yi Lin
Hai Dao
Jackie Chan & Jin Xi Shan
Shen Hua
Horoscope for Scorpio 17 April 2006 ~ 23 April 2006
You need to keep busy doing things that you both enjoy. Think twice before you say something you might regret later. Take care of any pressing medical problems that you or one of your parents may be suffering from. Outdoor sports events should entice you.
Since The CopyRight Rule Has Surfaced In Singapore, I Guess, This Portion Is To Be Taken Away. Sorry, People.
:: Site Rules ::
Rules? What rules? There are absolutely no rules. Steal, plagiarize, insult, vandalize, pee, lick, stare, drool, undergo mental sexual stimulation, worship. Whatever you want to do, just do it and don't tell me. HTML coding and decoding are done solely by me, I don't use blog templates. Best viewed in...
IE 5 & Above
800 x 600 Resolution
Unicode UTF-8 Encoding
Full Screen Mode
(Press F11)
By the way, this site is not dialup friendly. (Bandwidth Intensive)
:: Looking For ::
:: Lots Of Thanks ::
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Aww... So Pitiful...
Italian's appeal in classified ads tugs heartstrings across nation.
MILAN, Italy - "Elderly retired school teacher seeks family willing to adopt grandfather. Will pay."
Lonely Giorgio Angelozzi, 79, published his appeal in the classified pages of daily Corriere della Sera over the weekend, tugging on heart strings across family-loving Italy.
The classics teacher has lived alone outside Rome with seven cats since his wife died in 1992 but on Monday he had received dozens of replies from across the country.
"So many families want to adopt me as their grandfather," said Angelozzi who promised 500 euros (around $604) a month to the family who took him in. "So many families answered my appeal and want me to teach their children and their grandchildren about Horace and Catullus."
Among those who responded -- from southern Catanzaro to northern Milan -- was much-loved Roman popular music singer Antonello Venditti, one of Angelozzi’s former students.
"I was not expecting so much warmth, so much interest in my story," Angelozzi told Corriere on Monday. "But remember that my problem is one that affects so many elderly people in Italy."
Italy has long been famed for the central role of the family in society. But in recent years, as the divorce rate rises and families move more easily from city to city, elderly relatives are frequently left on their own.
In the record heat of summer 2003, 4,175 elderly people died. Many of them had been left to sweat out July and August in Italy’s sweltering cities where many pharmacies and food stores close down and basic services are cut back.
I would like to apologize to everyone, especially Ivy.
For the past fortnight, I was in a major misunderstanding between my parents and me. Something went wrong and everyone in the family was venting their tempers. Things turned out bad and I was in no mood to update my blog and go online for my friends.
Ivy It was very irresponsible of me to just disappeared like this and not inform you about it. I am sorry about it. Right now, I just hope that things will turn out fine in the next 3 days, couldn't stand being in this anymore. Will be online then and looking forward in chatting with you.
Zixian Well, I did not go MIA. I guess that it just slipped your mind that you could SMS me or call me to get hold of me. Anyways, hope to catch up with you other days and enjoy ourselves. If there is anything, you can get me on my handphone. You know that I would never turn down anything from a friend. See you then.
Everybody, please excuse me for the next couple of days as I really hope to settle this family problem ASAP. I am right now in a foul mood, so therefore please forgive me if I do not express myself the way you wished I would.
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i'm loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
30 facts about girls
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually is not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend,go easy on the smiles and stare 'okie?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy,she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first look at the girl next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
no.20 - fang zu ming - zui dong ting
no.19 - hua er yue tuan - gang gang hao
no.17 - zhang feng qi - si miao
no.16 - energy - yi zhi dao zui hou
no.15 - 5566 & k-one - feng yun bian se
no.14 - alex toh - tuo diao
no.11 - elva hsiao - mei li de cha qu
no.9 - evonne hsu - da feng chui
no.8 - z-chen - mo ri zhi lian
no.7 - pin guan & fish leong - ming ming hen ai ni
no.6 - f.i.r - wo men de ai
no.5 - jerry yan - yi gong chi
no.4 - ou de yang - gu dan bei ban qiu
no.3 - energy - hey you
no.2 - lin jun jie - jiang nan
no.1 - jay chou - qi li xiang
I find myself at the waking of each new day, alone again
Longing for that message you may send,
It never comes it seems, when I need it most,
I dream of times past, when it was assured your love for me did mend
But now I find its as far away as the nearest coast
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, this I am to believe
But history only proves to deceive
I love and trust my long distance love, my heart growing fonder
But the actions say that perhaps in return this I will not receive
Am I asking too much for the one I love to care,
Sometimes it seems it is too much for him to bear,
Just to say, sorry I wont be here today, or tonite,
Instead I wait countless hours for a sign, doesn’t seem right.
Is this a game, or perhaps a test for me to pass
To see if my love is strong enough and will last.
Can you not see this is so cruel and unfair to me
Am I regarded just as a “lets wait and see”
Whether a love is next door, or across the shore,
Surely the same considerations should take place,
Am I not a worthy part of this human race,
Or am I not what you need or are looking for.
My friends all say I am blinded to what I cannot see,
But I stand with pride and say “ surely this is up to me”
They say you do not care to share your world for me to be part
Yet they say it was expected of me from the start.
They say I should not follow my love to some distant place,
Yet all I long for is to be in and be part of his space,
I shall follow my heart that leads me across the waters
To my man that waits and waits for me,
Together we will show that this is meant to be,
But till that final day that I depart from here, I shall be alone again
I shall carry his love in my heart as pure and gentle as a dove,
until we can be together for the world to see,
Just how very much we are in love, and meant to be.
My future field of employment will most likely revolve around the Information/Technology (IT) sector of a company. Working in the IT department of an energy company would most likely be a top priority. Eventually, becoming a CIO of a corporation would be the ultimate dream goal.
Responsibilities of my job include meeting the goals and producing the desired results. Honestly, that does not always mean doing more than asked for. Meeting the bare minimum is sometimes the best route to take at the office.
People in the business world surely sway both directions when it comes to how much or how little effort they put into their jobs. From experience working retail businesses and at the university, I can say that more often than not, people will do whatever it takes to satisfy their job description. Not enough to be recognized as someone special, but enough not to be recognized as a slacker. Occasionally you will find the dedicated hard worker who will promptly be promoted to the level at which they can succesfully produce positive work gains. It is not always about working the hardest to the top. In most cases, it is more likely to be the person who is more dedicated or loyal to the company as a whole rather than their specific task in the company.
I've been sitting around this life for years,
Not enough laughs and too many tears.
Trying to figure out where it all went,
These wasted years that I have spent.
Searching for something to go beyond,
Life's a stone skipping across a pond.
At the last skip, it hits with a splash,
Down the stone sinks, gone in a flash.
Pushing and pulling, it's tearing apart,
Poking and prodding an underused heart.
This dark velvet curtain that hides my soul,
Living this life has taken it's toll.
In a flash of bright light, the curtain is torn,
Tumbling down all tattered and worn.
Revealing new life, a child within,
Born free of hate, of suffering and sin.
Now my eyes see what has never been told,
Striving forth happy, confident and bold.
Into a world that's unfamiliar but friendly,
Into this new life my spirit will send me.
Living and laughing, loving it all,
I stood myself up and answered the call.
The darkness has gone, replaced by the light,
I gave up the darkness with hardly a fight.
I've been sitting around this life for years,
With laughter aplenty and hardly a tear.
Now I can see just where it all went,
Cherish every moment of this new life I've spent.
... ever wondered how your life would be if you didn't let that someone who you mean something to get away because you didn't want to waste your time when all that someone wanted was for him to mean something to you?
... ever lost someone because you were waiting for someone that's right for you yet you were too blind to notice that that someone you're with is the right one for you ?
... ever took a chance on someone not right for you because you are so darn sure that having someone is better than being alone yet you waste each day of your life trying to convince yourself that this is exactly what you want?
... ever loved someone so profoundly that you can't sleep at night because all you can think of spending the next day with that someone yet time drags so long that the next day seems to take forever to come?
... ever fallen for someone so badly that you can't do anything right anymore because you are so distracted from thinking how that someone is going about his day yet that someone could not care less with what you are going about yours?
... ever spent years of your life caring for someone who means so much to you and you mean nothing to because you have this notion that that someone is who you want in your life yet have your heart shattered because that someone has found someone else?
... ever wished for someone perfect to come along because you just know that perfect is what will make you happy yet whe you are with that someone you end up wishing he were someone else because perfect is really not what you deserve?
Lately I can't write.
I haven't been able to express.
I don't even know what I want to express.
Fleeting yet lasting happiness.
Fake comfort.
Anger.
Sadness.
Fear.
Excietment.
Hurt.
I don't even know.
Can't it be all at once?
Confusion, definately confusion.
The random moments of emotional
Breakdowns are starting to get to me. The soothing and
Numbing quality of music isn't even helping.
This time it's not letting me
Hide behind it.
Always the guilt.
Guilt from absolutely everything;
Everything and nothing all at once.
How is it possible to feel all this and still
Be "together". All the sudden,
In the last few days I feel
More broken; more sad and lonely than ever...
And I don't want to let it show, because
I have to hold her together, and keep
his faith in me. I have to show her this country and
make everything right.
It's my fault.
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within
a few weeks, the female gorilla became very hornery, and difficult to
handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The
gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla
available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed
Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Mike,
it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he
wasn't very bright. So, the zoo administrators thought they might have
a solution.
Mike was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to
have sex with the gorilla for five hundred bucks? Mike showed some
interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't
want to have to kiss her.
Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result
from this union."
The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so
they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Mike, "you've gotta give me another week to come up
with the five hundred bucks."
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holdin' on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows
Don't think that you can tell me what to think
I'm the one who knows what's good for me
And I'm stating my independence
Gonna take the road I'm gonna take
And I'm gonna make my own mistakes
It's my life
I decide
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
What I need
Who I know
I'm the one who's running my life
I decide I decide
Don't think you're ever gonna hold me down
Couldn't do it then can't do it now
I'm kickin' down all the fences
I'm gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up
It's my ride
I decide
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I'm the one who's running my life
I decide I decide
I'm taking my own chances
And I'm finding my own answers
I'm only answering to me
And that's the way it's gonna be
I decide
Oh yeah
I decide I decide
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I'm the one who's running my life I decide
I decide I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up I decide
I went to Tampines today. Main motive? To get the Samsung X430,which I was interested for so long. Went to the Hello! SingTel Shop to enquire about the availability of the phone. Was glad to hear that they still have available stock for it. Took my quene number. Saw that my quene number is 23 numbers behind the currently serving number. So I decided to talk a walk around Tampines Mall & Century Square.
Nothing much changed since my last visit to Tampines Mall & Century Square. Browsed through the shops and returned back to The Hello! Singtel Shop. Was in a fury to find that the quene hardly moved during my 30 minutes tour. I am still 20 numbers behind the current one.
Waited a good 40 minutes more to get attended to. Expressed my intention and finally after 10 minutes of admin work and registration, I got the Samsung X430 in my hands.
In the silence of the night I lay awake
I lay awake for you
I did not want to, I never did
I never did want to be your fool.
But as the raindrops pelted down
In the waking dawn
I was left to wonder, alone
If I was ever a fool
To have met you.
The leaves have whispered, yes
Whispered things I don't want to hear
The wind has blown them away,
Indeed it has, blowing away my tears.
The rhythm went on
Yet i had felt nothing.
But only now do I realise something.
I never did once regret
That first time we met
Cause I was glad even for lil while
To have you by my side,
& so I thank you.
Yapped with my sister this morning until 9pm. Caught up on things and talking trash about all the stupid people in the world. Then she starts bugging me about me not having a girlfriend and if i had any "prospects" or whatever. I told her that too much things have been happening these days and the only girl I was interested in, had made a decision that I am trying to get over all this while and I really don't want to go through the crap of finding another one. She called me a hopeless devout and told me to suck it up or something as heart warming as that.
Personally, I'm just going to sit back and let things come to me. People keep saying, "You always meet someone when you aren't looking". Well, I am going to test this little theory out. I have also noticed that the people who say this already HAVE a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's all I can do to stop myself from smashing their faces in with a brick.
There was a time when I thought my life was at an end.
There was a time when I wanted all this to end.
Yet I pulled through it all, pushing past the imagined barrier into uncharted waters. Day by day life goes on, as proof that tomorrow is another day.
Tomorrow may be a better day.
It is so easy to look back and think "maybe it wasn't that bad after all" but when you're in the thick of it all, lost and confused, it is hard to think that there's a way out.
One door closes; another door opens. Move from one room to the next and so on and so forth. But where is the door to the room I so much want to be in? Where is it? When will it open? Has it been charted or is it terra incognita?
There was a time when I wished to say farewell but I didn't get to do so. Instead, life took an unexpected turn. So perhaps today will just end up as yet another date in the calendar, yet another spent day edged out by another. Therefore remember this: the going is tough and never forget the days spent wandering. Remember every tear, every raindrop, every emotion of this voyage.
Went to see a doctor in the morning. The wait for the doctor is damn bloody long. Almost took me 1 hours and 40 minutes to get to see the doctor. The doctor also had a fucking attitude. His face is liked as if I had spoilt his day by appearing in front of him. Was diagnosed with severe stomach flu. Doctor says to avoid oily, chili food and milk. How to survive like that? I take milk everyday leh... Haiz... Food... No chili, not oily... Where to find? Want me to take porridge all day huh?
Next, Went to Hougang Mall. Hougang Mall today very packed. So many people at the library... How come? It is Saturday, don't everyone go shopping or Saturday? Then, how come I am here, you may ask. Cause no one asked me out, so I have to spend my time at the library to pass my time. Read some books and magazines. Surprised that I actually have been at the library for 4 hours... Must be lost track of time while I am engross in reading.
Left for home at around 4pm. Got household chores to do and dinner to cook. Almost forgot about them. Reached home, do all my chores. Tummy feeling as shitty as usual. By the time, I finished my chores, it is 6pm liao. Time to cook dinner. No time to rest at all.
After dinner, rotted in front of the computer. Logged in into MSN and put myself as away. Did some surfing on the Internet and sort out my old magazines to throw them away.
Today seems to be a boring day. Most of my friends are either in the army or they are with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Some of them did ask me out... But I am in no mood to be an extra huge light bulb. What can I do? Just blame it on me that I am not selfish enough to chase for my own desires. Pulling away from the community to avoid getting hurt once more is not a solution, but it is better than getting myself into the same mess and ended up torturing myself again.
It never rains but pours, but this time the rain is so beautiful. Softly it descends from above in a gentle pitter-patter; Sleek little streaks that gleam like silver in the light of that solitary lamp post.
Silently I stand next to the lamp post amidst the rain, my heart soothed by the silky sound of raindrops falling. For once there is peace, a perfect moment of timelessness in that cozy corner of illumination.
I close my eyes and open my heart to the rain. She appears before me, a memory treasured in my heart...
Smiling, I return to the present to look up at the sky. The silver raindrops caress my face and I wonder how is she, what is she doing in this rain?
Under the loving blessing of Heaven's tears I am warmed by the thought of her.
Don't understand what's going on in Zixian's mind. He suddenly started to type nonsense to me in the chat. Suddenly, he started to blame himself for being an ass. I wanted to ask, but I couldn't. My guess is that I might have done him something wrong to get this kind of treatment. Couldn't it be the entry that I described his problem? I might have gone too far in meddling into his affairs. I really would like to find out what happened that caused him to be so dejected and hostile. As a friend, I feel very helpless not knowing what to do.
Tonight, I finally got around to seeing "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Jon and I had nothing better to do so we made it a blockbuster night.
The story of the movie is basically about a 30-year-old Greek woman, who desperately needs to get married. She finds a man whom she falls head over heels for, but discovers he's not Greek. The difficulty of merging the two families together is enormous. The woman pulls through and eventually marries the man all in the strength of love.
Now hear me out. I have brothers, sisters and cousins, who have yet to find their significant half, but if we're going down the road age-wise, then my brother, Kenneth, should be next. As much as I can't imagine him getting close to any woman, I can't imagine me myself doing so too. And i know I'm only almost twenty-two, but I'm not too far down the road from Steven.
I have those cute little dreamy plans for myself... I'd like to get married and have three sweethearts running around, but then I snap back into reality... And wonder... How is this going to happen for me? I'm right for the bad ones and wrong for the good ones. It's not a matter of coming across the right person. I'm the wrong guy for all the Ms. Rights. You know what I'm saying?
Just went downstairs to open up the letterbox. Haven't done so for the past week. A lot of junk flyers in the letterbox. Spent sometime before seeing something that I like.
It was from the Yellow Pages. On the back of the letter, there is a coupon regarding Samsung X430. The handphone that I wanted last month. Samsung X430 is now selling at only $48 with no trade-in required. All I need is to do pay $48 and extend my mobile line for another 2 years. Sounds good to me. Anyway, my mobile line has been with me for 4 years. No trouble or worries about signing on for a further 2 years. Anyway, it is my NS time. Won't be that free to actually go change for another mobile line.
But there is a problem... My parents will kill me if they know that I buy another handphone. I already have quite a number of working handphones at home and they have warned me against buying another one. So what should I do? I am really tempted by the Yellow Pages's offer.
Been having a bad tummyache the whole morning until now. Rushing to and fro the toilet has made me weak all over. Guess I will be struck at home for good today.
Today is Leonard's enlistment day. He got to be at Pasir Ris at 2pm. I ma still deciding on whether I should go and send him off. But I heard that his parents are sending him, so he may not be lonely after all. Think I shouldn't go since I am having a tummy ache.
Wow. I finally found someone whom I can talk my heart out to. Spent hours chatting with Ivy until now. Poured out the courtship story of Sara and me. At some parts of the conversation, I cried. It's been very nice to recall all these memories and think about them again. The wonderful time we spent together. I just hope that this relationship will not be a thing of the past. I really am considering about waiting for her to return. But do I have that determination to do so? Let's hope that my love for her can carry me through this.
Me: What kind of partner? Dancing? I can't dance leh.
Fiona: Haha. Not that kind. A Relationship.
Me: Don't play leh. This kind of thing is serious one leh. Don't anyhow talk leh. Anyway, no girls will like guys like me. I know my own limits.
Fiona: Haha. Not joking. Serious. Why you say girls like me won't like you?
Me: Don't play liao lah. Get back to the serious part. What kind of partner you need?
Fiona: What makes you think I am not serious?
Me: First of all, you keep on staring SMSes with Haha. Then, the speed that you replied my messages. It is too fast, like no need to consider about the issue. Third, all the messages gives me a joking feelings. Not to forget that you used the word Partner instead of Boyfriend. More like a joke to me. If someone were to ask you to forge a relationship, Boyfriend should be the word.
Fiona: I am serious. I am different from other girls, that's why my words are different. I am unique and think my ways, not the conventional ways. Is it you don't like me? Haiz.
Me: This sounds like a prank to me. Please reply me the thing you wanted to ask in the next SMS. That SMS I will take it seriously.
Fiona: Do you have feelings for me?
Me: I don't know. I have some feelings for you. Did enjoy the times we spent. But I am not sure about what the feeling is.
Fiona: You have feelings for me? How come I don't know? When did it happen?
Me: Look. I am not sure what kind of feelings is that. So don't read too much into it. The times we spent makes feelings evolve, so.....
Fiona: When did you have that feeling?
Me: I really do not know. I am very outgoing and adapted to people very fast. That's why I can have feelings for people very fast. But the feelings might not be of a boy girl relationship. I myself don't even know what is the feeling, so how do you think I know? Just don't read too much into it.
Fiona: Ok..... I will need your help in September.
I don't know about you guys. But I smell a prank somewhere. But on the other hand, her SMSing style is a bit different today. It can't be, right? Which girl will fall for me? Only in my dreams. Let's hope that this will be a prank. Couldn't imagine that a girl like Fiona (Intelligent Girl) falls for me (A Stupid Thing). "Intelligent = Stupid"? No way. It's more of "Intelligent != Stupid"
light up your life;
touch your heart with my Music;
soothe your mind with tender notes;
take away the weight that anchors you so to the ground.
You deserve to fly, high up there where you truly belong.
If only we could fly together on the soft Spring breeze, sharing our thoughts, our experiences... imagine what Music we could create together.
But there is no "you" or "me" in If, nor is there any "we" in If. There is only "I", one single, solitary "I". Just as you are stuck in your see-saw, so am I trapped in my merry-go-round.
If only I could touch not just your mind but your soul with my Music, if only...
But it would not be my Music; not even the notes that I may play or write.
The moment I start up my MSN today, there are already 5 pops up message windows. How did you guys get so efficient in chasing me for photos? Even Vijay messaged me. Wow, that's an honor. Spent a good 30 minutes sending the photos to everyone.
I ran through the list of names... Discovered that there is still one more person I haven't send my photos to... JEAN!!! Dead... I do not have her email address, and she specifically instructed me to send her the photos. I am damned this time. Anyone have her email address?
Leonard is going into National Service tomorrow... Heard from him yesterday that his parents might not be sending him off, so I offered my company if he has no one to send him off. Wondered if I did the right thing again...
Yesterday really took a toll on me. An update regarding yesterday.
Went for the physiotherapy session. My doctor said that I am doing very well, so the sessions might end sooner than usual. That's a good piece of news for me. As soon as my therapy sessions end, I will be able to get myself ready for National Service. My doctor prescribed me some pills to help my blood circulation. After collecting the medicine, took the MRT to Orchard.
Went to Orchard Library. The library is quite quiet yesterday. Not much people. I went around looking for the "New Arrivals". Found some books, which I found to be interesting. Took the books and looked for a corner, where I can sit down and read them in peace. Found a cozy spot with a student. He adjusted himself to make space, so that we could share the spot.
He seems to be a designing student. The stacks of books by his side are all about designing and he is furiously taking notes. Should be his exams are around the corner. SMSed Leonard to look for me at Orchard Library later when he wants to meet me.
Spent a total of 4 hours (11.30am to 3.30pm) at the library. Read a number of books until Leonard came to look for me. Packed up and gathered the books that I want to borrow. I was wondering f I could still borrow any books as I still have an outstanding unpaid $5.20 in overdue loans. Tried my luck and was happy that I can still do borrowing. We went to get some lunch, as Leonard was feeling hungry.
Walked over to Orchard Cineleisure to collect the booked tickets. Leonard booked the tickets using his father's credit card and he was very worried that he will need to sign for the booking. He was relieved when I told him that he could choose if he wants to pay by cash, NETS or credit. After collecting the tickets for the 5pm show, we went roaming around Orchard Cineleisure complex.
Entered the cinema at 5pm. Whoa, the theater was PACKED. I mean real packed. Almost all the seat are taken up including the second and third row. What the heavens can they see sitting at those rows? Anyway, not my problem... I am here to enjoy the show, not to be so nosy...
After the movie, we went to Borders. Then back to individual's home.
Will be out the whole day. Heading for CMPB in the morning to settle somethings with the admin there. Next, will be heading for Tan Tock Seng Hospital to have my doctor appointment. Hope that I can finally say goodbye to all the physiotherapy and consultations.
After my doctor's appointment, I will be heading for Orchard library, where I will be returning a long overdue book.
At 5pm in the afternoon, will be meeting Leonard for a movie. By the way, Alien VS Predator is great. Got the "SPH Press Pass" for last night's Alien VS Predator and enjoyed the whole movie. It is a NOT-TO-BE-MISSED kind of movie. That is unless you enjoy action movies.
Oh ya, the pictures for my Genting Trip are up over at the photo section. Add a new contact means called Chatango, so that you guys can leave comments even if the stupid Tag-board.com is down. Enjoyed!
A poem for today. Hope you guys enjoy it. By the way, the poem is not by me, but it sorts of describes me.
Make A Wish
If I could make a wish
And have it last forever and a day,
I would take you in my arms
And this is where I'd stay.
For there's no one else I know
That holds my heart like you,
And I know someday, Baby,
You'll realize this is true.
If I could make a wish
Your lips would be on mine,
I'd slowly sip and savor you
Like only the finest wine.
For there's no one else I know
That gives me so much pleasure,
And I know someday, Baby,
You'll see that you're my treasure.
If I could make a wish
Our bodies would unite,
There's nothing I'd love more
Than making love all night.
For there's no one else I know
Who gives me passion like you do,
And I know someday, Baby,
All my wishes will come true.
If I could make a wish
I'd start by making things right,
I'd take away all your doubts,
And hold you through the night.
For there's no one else I know
That means as much you see,
And I know someda y, Baby,
You'll learn to trust in me.
If I could make a wish.
It would be just you and me,
No worries in the world,
Just happy as can be.
For there's no one else I know
Who with me,
Makes the perfect rhyme,
And I know someday, Baby,
In another place in time.
If I could make a wish
I'd go to the next lifetime
To be with you,
I know that you're my soul mate,
There's no doubt I know it's true.
For there's no one else I know
That is my destiny,
The clock struck 12.56am and I was suddenly sad. Horribly, inexplicably, blanchingly... sad.
My insides are clocks that are broken.
Learning to be happy by yourself is an art that I've always kind of faked in the in-betweens. But what will I do now? I don't have any brief glitches to serve as the interim. Instead I am anticipating oceans.
And really, will there ever be someone to fulfill ALL of the gaping gaps and holes in my standards? Will there ever be someone who is everything without trying, without calculating and confiscating and callibrating the truth?
I'm just lonely and upset because things never work out ever...
People toss me around like a fricking salad.
My ex girlfriend won't stop calling me and asking me to hang out with her and I'm not answering her anymore.
And Sara. I don't have to say anything about that. I think I love her more than I realize because it's starting to hurt and I don't want it to. But there is no turning back. She has left and I should leave it at that.
I hate feeling like an idiot or an asshole all the time.
Well, just finishing up a MSN conversation with Ivy. Sending songs to her as she just got her computer at her company up. It is very bored with music when you are working. Chatted up quite a lot. It is very nice chatting with her. Nice person to relate to. Someone of the same nature and character as me.
Went to Deon's place to take back my iMac. He borrowed my iMac from my since last year as he needs it to help him in his course of study.
Now that he is going to further his studies at Korea, he calle me and asked me if when he could return me my iMac. Since I had nothing to do, I said that I will go over straight away and get it from him. Anyway, Deon's house is right across the street, taking a 20 minutes walk from my home.
Got changed and walked over to his house. Surprised that his sister, Jasmine, is at home. His sister, Jasmine used to have a school day crush on me. But I think it is a thing of a past, as she has a boyfriend now. Wasn't really in the mood to bang into her as she is very talkative and keep on asking about my life and my plans for the future. The most hated question of hers came soon enough. "So, I heard that you and Sara broke up. So single now?" I wanted to shoot "What the fuck she mean by that?" But decided against it, as I do not want to have anything to do with her.
Was also surprised by the condition of my iMac. Deon really had taken very good care of my iMac. Good as new. Did not realised that the damn iMac was so heavy. Now I understand why he complained so much when he took it home last year...
carried the whole damn thing back home. It's been a long time since I carried something so heavy walking for 20 minutes or so. What's worse is that the sun is shining so brightly and hot. When I got home, I was drenched. It is as if I had walked in the rain.
Took a bath and went to mingle with my iMac. I really missed it. It is one of my favorite belongings. Now that it is back in my room, I faced another problem... Where in the heavens am I going to place my iMac? Argh...
ADVICE TO LAW STUDENTS: Since it's that time of year and everyone and their brother is dispensing sagacity to those would-be esquires, I figured I'd add my few thoughts to the collective wisdom of the Blogosphere.
The Top Ten Things I Learned About Law School
1. Your fellow students are not the enemy. Even if you are graded on a tight curve, where only ten percent of the class is allowed the highest mark, your fellow students are either a resource or discountable. There is no reason to view them as the enemy, no reason to get upset at them or view them as obstacles. They can't hurt your chances of success, they can only help you.
2. Your study partner is the most important person in law school. Choose Wisely. What, you aren't getting a study partner? You're mad. Particularly for first year exams, you absolutely positively must work with one or two other people. And they need to be engaging, thoughtful, interesting people with opinions on things. A study group that never argues is a study group that doesn't get anywhere. You're in school to learn how to argue... Might as well practice.
3. Find something else to do. It's a necessity that you have regularly scheduled activities outside of law school. Particularly for the first year, while you will be spending nights in the library studying -- or should be anyway -- you must have a release. Find something physical to do. I picked fencing, running and biking. Others pick hiking and swimming. But you must find something to do besides study and you must attend to it regularly.
4. There's no substitute for work. Again, this applies primarily to your first year, but there really is no substitute for sitting your ass down in the chair and spending five hours studying. If you don't have the discipline to do the work, you don't deserve the grade.
5. Help your classmates. This is the corollary to #1... And it's actually more important. Whenever you have the opportunity to help your classmates, whether it's holding their jacket while they madly change for an interview or explaining a case to them or even showing them how to take notes if they don't know... There is no better thing you can do than help your classmates. If it's an academic issue, you'll learn it better by teaching. If it's non-academic, you'll make the law school experience better for everyone, and in any case you'll generate good will for later on in your career. It sounds silly, but the people you know in law school are going to be your closest professional allies. Law is an incestuous business, everyone seems to know everyone else. Don't be an ass.
6. Go to court. Yep -- go to court and watch law and motion practice. Take some time out and just watch things happen.
7. Pay attention to Civil Procedure. It's the most important class you'll take. Master that class -- even if you're going to eventually be a criminal lawyer, the tools of Civil Procedure are the most important tools to law practice. There is simply no substitute to knowing the pleading process inside and out. Read your federal rules, and if your instructor doesn't cover them, look up their state counterparts.
8. Learn the books. Westlaw is great, and I use it a lot. But you need to understand the structure of how law is recorded to make sense of Westlaw. Spend time with the books in the library, learning how to use them and how cases are recorded. Spend time learning how to cite to different authorities; by reading The Blue Book, you'll not only learn citation form, but you'll become more familiar with all the different things that can be cited.
9. Take hard classes. Mickey Mouse electives are all fine and dandy, but they are a waste of your hard-earned money. And if it isn't hard earned, if it's loans, rest assured that it will be hard-earned at some point. Take Federal Courts, Advanced Civil Procedure, and other serious courses. It's OK to have a little intellectual filler, but take the courses seriously. You're only in law school once, and you might as well suck out all the marrow. Transgender Communities and the Law is all well and good, but it's not going to make you a better lawyer.
10. Keep Perspective. When I was a first year, there was a very sweet woman who couldn't handle the "stress." In the first week, she broke down crying in the library and then we never saw her again. Here's a secret: There was no stress. It was all in her mind. There was only reading, and cases, and the path to understanding. Another woman named Carola quit after a semester -- but she quit after getting quite good grades and not stressing during the year. She decided that she wanted to be a sculptor. She had perspective. It's just law school. It's not the end all be all of your existence, and it doesn't validate you as a human being. Remember #5, supra, and remember what's really important in life.
So there you have it, the top ten things I learned about kicking ass and taking names in law school. You don't need to be the top of your class -- you need to do the best you can, to be balanced and happy, and to be fair and just to your fellow students. You need to respect your professors, and learn the law.
It's easy for me to say it... it's going to be harder for you to do it. But not as hard as it sounds.
Aug 01 - 15 ~ Monkey Aug 16 - 25 ~ Mouse Aug 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
Sep 01 - 14 ~ Dove Sep 15 - 27 ~ Cat Sep 28 - 30 ~ Dog
Oct 01 - 15 ~ Monkey Oct 16 - 27 ~ Turtle Oct 28 - 31 ~ Panther
Nov 01 - 16 ~ Lion Nov 17 - 30 ~ Cat
Dec 01 - 16 ~ Dog Dec 17 - 25 ~ Monkey Dec 26 - 31 ~ Dove
If you are a Dog:
A very loyal and sweet person.Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends,all of them being quality-personified.
If you are a Mouse:
Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder, people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-togethers. However, you are sensitive, which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!
If you are a Lion:
Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done.
If you are a Cat:
An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy,with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool, when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.
If you are a Turtle:
You are near to perfect and nice at heart.The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people.You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return.You are generous enough.Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.
If you are a Dove:
symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life.Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected.In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....
If you are a Panther:
You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk.You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group.Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.
If you are a Monkey:
Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!
Good things happened today. I really did get a lot of random compliments. That helps pass the day in a happy way i suppose.
Went for my graduation ceremony at the Temasek Convention Centre today. Met up with a lot of friends, whom I haven't seen for months. Lecturers all around ushering parents and students into the Temasek Convention Centre. The ceremony went pretty well considering that it only took one and a half hours. After the ceremony, I went around to take photos with my friends and lecturers.
Guojiu, Zixian, Leonard and me went to Bedok to collect Guojiu's newly made glasses. After collecting it, we went to the arcade to play Daytona. It's been months since we last played Daytona together. Well, as usual, I am the last one in every race. I am not good at arcade games.
We went to City Hall after that. Guojiu wanted to buy something from Precious Thots to present to Linsay on the date he is enlisted. He browsed through some of the figurines and cards, but couldn't decide on which to buy. Left Precious Thots for Singtel Shop. Guojiu wanted to terminate his mobile line and get a new and cheaper line instead. We strolled to Suntec City and walked around for some time. Guojiu kept on receiving calls from Linsay. I do not know what the calls are about, but soon after the 4th call, Guojiu left to fetch Linsay, leaving Zixian, Leonard and me shopping on our own.
As we were walking, I did not realise that depression sort of set in into me. The more I walked around and seeing couples together, the more low I get. I sort of affected the whole mood that the group was having. Well guys, I apologize for this. I really did not know what came over me. Seeing so many couples together shopping reminds me of the times that Sara and I had. Honestly, as much as I do not want to admit it, I really missed Sara a lot. For the past few weeks, I have tried to get myself busy and tried my very best to forget about what had happened. I thought that I have succeeded since I begin to feel better and more upbeat. Little did I realise, the more I tried, the worse it gets. The feelings are buried in my heart, but they are never gone at all.
I checked my account in the afternoon and discovered that there is only $17.24 in my checking account... Dead meat... How am I going to survive this month???
I think maybe this whole "everyone leaving me" thing MIGHT be good for me. I've had a lot of socialization through emails with people, whom I do not know, but I think I'm the type of person who needs a lot of that... And then, there is a lot of alone time to catch up on myself. It's been so hard lately to figure out my thoughts and myself. I just need time to contemplate and linger and breathe.
I do well by myself. And I think I need to realize that more. I'm always striving for other people, deep inside I know this, and that's the Scorpio part of me. I crave attention, because I think I need it to be myself and feel good. And I'm always searching for someone to fill this hole that I think I have in myself, but the only reason why there is a hole, is because I created it.
I do well by myself. I have never said that in my entire life.
Today is the day of my graduation. Finally after these long and agonizing years, I finally graduated and can finally bid Temasek Polytechnic farewell. Although my studies have not been going smoothly for my poly years, I managed to struggle and complete my studies. Am real proud and anxious to be receiving my diploma today.
Ripples of the heartstrings,
Melodies so sweet and divine;
A brief but bright moment of reminiscence
Of glorious days gone by.
Memories dancing in the dimmed hall
We cheered and played our final curtain call.
To rousing applause we rose and stood together
As one big family of brothers and sisters.
Instruments packed we boarded the bus
Wishing we could relive the night once more.
Sounds may fade, notes may die,
But the music in the heartstrings resonates forever
In my heart and mind.
There were times when the sky would bring me nothing
Except the smell of the rain at summertime
So I left my window open just to let you come inside
Saying that you'd never leave me was a lie
Well there were times that my eyes were filled with water
But all the world was desert dry
So I hugged my pillow closer and I tried to close my eyes
But the sound of distant thunder made me cry.....
Lady Rain,I hear you at my window
Lady Rain,I need you softly falling on my face
Why did the sunshine come and take you away?
I'd wait for you again ,my Lady Rain.....
I hear the sound of her breathing in the darkness
And autumn rain can turn to snow in the night
I'll be sleeping this September,but I'll leave the fire light
Just in case you feel like coming 'round again
Lady Rain,I hear you at my window
Lady Rain,I need you softly falling on my face
Why did the sunshine come and take you away?
I'd wait for you again ,my Lady Rain.....
And late at night,when you pour down on me
You're just in time to wash all the tears away....
Lady Rain,I hear you at my window
Lady Rain,I need you softly falling on my face
Why did the sunshine come and take you away?
I'd wait for you again ,my Lady Rain.....
So the situation has dawned on me. Graduation is drawing close, yet I feel as though I haven't accomplished a thing. Joan and I chatted on our way back on Thursday. I discussed with her that aching feeling I've been feeling lately. Never in my life did I think I would find my "ideal" at such an early point of my life. But why is she so unattainable? Why is she completely beyond my grasp? Perhaps that's what makes her so "ideal," but it sucks to have gotten a taste of something and have it taken away from me just like that. Good god, I hate this feeling.
Aside from that, life has been routine. There really isn't much going on right now. I wish there was. I wish I could be doing something important, something noteworthy. I realize I wish and want too many things, yet I never do a god damn thing about it. But that's the beauty of me. I don't get tired of life easily because I crave for far too much.
In another news, Mr. Dean Chee had his farewell dinner last night, leaving for Korea Advanced Inst. of Science & Technology. Dean is amazingly lucky. Not only does he get a completely new experience at a different environment (Korea) for three years and do what he does best (Science & Technology), but he also gets to be surrounded by a large number of girls just waiting to pine over him and win his affection. The female to male ratio is definitely in his favor. Many of the c/o 2002 girls were there. It was a really nice, small reunion.
I know that I am a bastard in doing this, but I really hope to write all these to help Zixian to organize his feelings. Somethings, which came by are not to be missed. Once missed, you might regret later. Hope that you don't get too mad with me over this issue. If you do, let me know and I will take this down and apologize to you.
Just finished reading from Zixian's blog... Did not go through every word, but sort of skim through his blog to get the jest of the content. Did put in effort to read and try to understand what he is writing and what he meant.
It seems that he is still very concern about Fong Yi. Felt a bit of sad for him as his feelings were repudiated by Fong Yi. Or I would rather put it as Fong Yi did not even accepted nor rejected him. So it is a bit of a confused situation if I were him. In my view, I would rather have the girl telling me straight that she accepts or reject me instead of not giving me an answer. Does no answer mean there is hope? No one knows... A very bad way to know if I have hopes or not.
OK... He was at RiverView Hotel with Guojiu, Linsay and another girl. Let's call name the girl as GerA.
Hmm... The girl from what I have read is single and seeking for a guy for her to take care of. *She prefers a guy, whom is thin, so that she can feed and take care of him and make him grow fatter. Seems to fit "someone's" profile. Thin...
Anyway, Zixian admitted in stealing glares at GerA. Zixian sort of had some feelings towards her, I think. The keyword is "I think". Do not want to be beaten up by Zixian. He is concerned about her wearing her contact lens to sleep. Worried about her sleeping comfort as the room was cold, so therefore, he brought his blanket over to cover her up. **He is worried that she will feel cold.
In the morning when he awaked, he saw a pair of movie stubs. He believed that they might belong to GerA and decided to keep them for her in case she accidentally left them there as things, which are unwanted should be in the waste bin. Unexpectedly, his actions were captured by Linsay on the camera.
At the end of the whole thing, he himself was unsure why he acted that way and ***why he is thinking so much. But he did said that ****he is a free man, and he has yet to like anyone.
To conclude this, based on what I have read and processed in my mind, I believe that there is a chance that a new bond can be formed if time permits it. More time together could bring two very different persons closer. Zixian, maybe, you can think over about what I have said. Hope that you don't get angry...
Quotes
* - "What u look for in guys?", replies "Thin lor, so that I can feed and take care of him and becum fatter".Para 3 Line 3
** - I also do not know how cum I would feel worried tat she may get cold... I really got no explanation at all. But I try to make myself stop thinkin any deeper. Para 7 Line 4
*** - How come I m thinkin so much? crazy liao. haha.Para 9 Line 4
**** - I m a free man. I did not love any1 yet.Para 10 Line 1
Shooting star, bright and lovely
Do not dim your fire so early
Fall you must, to the ground
Yet there's hope, to be found
Up against the cold black sky
A spark of hope in such bleak times
Think not that your star has fallen
Many care about your position
I know you bear a heavy burden
But think of all the dreams you've given
Give us hope with your sweet light
Touch our lives no matter how slight
Shooting star, bright and lovely
Your light your warmth we hold so dearly
You fall not from the weight of your worries
But fall to give hope to the tired and weary
Yan is out big on news today. She is cast as the "Bitch of Local Bloggers". And yet she is very proud of it. Damn... What is the whole coming to? LOL...
Woke up exceptionally early today at 7am. Motives? To continue to watch the remainder of the DVD anime "Naruto" in the morning and afternoon. Stopped at 1.30am last night at episode 42. Some of Leonard's DVDs sucks. Some of the episodes were very jerky. My RealPlayer often hang because of that. Caused some frustrations while watching the show, almost wanted to snap the DVDs into 2 sometimes. Went to sleep in the afternoon after my lunch. Feeling very sleepy due to the time I woke up in the morning. My biological clock is beginning to weaken.
Went over to my uncle's place later in the afternoon at around 3pm. Since my dad went over to my uncle's place to help my uncle to solve some electrical problems, I decided to follow along since I got a bit sick over the hanging of my RealPlayer due to Leonard’s stupid DVDs. Anyway, I could use my cousin's computer to do some net-surfing (That's what I thought). When we reached my uncle's place, only my uncle and aunt are at home, my cousins, Victoria & Dennis are not at home.
While my dad do the electrical stuff, I went to my cousins' room and switched on Dennis's computer. Found out that he formatted his computer and have to even reinstall the operating system completely yet. So, I helped him to reinstall his operating system and install all the various device drivers. Suddenly, the power went out! I rushed out of the room to find my dad and uncle both at the main power switch. They have switched off the main power supply! OMG. I was so worried that the computer will have problems due to the sudden power cut. I angrily told my dad that he should inform me that he will be cutting the power supply instead of just switching it off without informing anyone.
Went back to my cousins' room. Browsed through their books and photo albums. The power came back after around 40 minutes. I quickly switched on the computer and check if there is any problem with it. Luckily, the computer is fine and seems to be running smooth. Since the computer is back, I went back to configuring the computer so that I could make use of it to do my stuff. After meddling with the computer for 20 minutes, my dad came up and told me that he need to switch off the main power supply again. I was so pissed, but had no choice.
The second power shortage lasted for 1 hour or so. When the power came back the second time, I asked my dad and uncle if there would be anymore interrupts to the power supply, they said no. At last, I can work on the computer peacefully. Went back to the computer and managed to get all the necessary drivers and software done after 40 minutes. Finally after installing the driver for the ADSL modem, I surfed the Internet for a while before Dennis got back.
We surfed the Internet for a while. It is very odd that his computer is very laggy, since it is a new system with fresh copy of operating system. Frustrated of the lagginess of the computer, we decided to switch it off and play darts. He had a dartboard hanging on top of his cupboard. We had lots of fun playing with darts. We put holes into almost anything, books, cupboards and the wooden door as we missed the dartboard. After a while, we stopped after seeing so many holes punctured on the cupboard.
Went home later at 11.30pm after my dad settled the electrical problem. Back to the "Naruto" DVDs tomorrow morning. Might be chasing after fireworks again in the afternoon until night over at Marina tomorrow. Hope that I will be able to get the shots tomorrow and post them here.
Life always has a certain amount of uncertainty, like background radiation. Uncertainty is good as it makes life interesting, for a static life runs a very high risk of extinction. But too much uncertainty is like being exposed to too much radiation.
The uncertainty level recently has been rather high.
The tentative schedule for next semester is out, and from the looks of it I may not even be able to stay in HCCO for the rest of the year. And the exam dates are much too close to each other for comfort.
Such is life; it really likes to hit you when you least expect it.
If uncertainty is like radiation then I must be glowing like some lightstick now. There's just too much contamination...
Been spending the whole day watching the DVD anime, "Naruto" that Leonard borrowed me that day. Got myself very hooked on it. Instead of taking lunch today, I forgo it and ate 2 chocolate bars instead. Quite filling until a certain extent.
Dinner is a simple beef porridge. Took around 20 minutes to cook and 10 minutes to finish. Then, back to "Naruto".
Can be described as no life. LOL... "Naruto" consisted of 121 episodes, and I watched only 31 episodes only. 90 episodes more to go!
Suddenly the words don't seem to come, and we grow increasingly silent.
Sometimes we don't even greet each other, and leave just as silently as we came.
What has happened, or have we simply run out of things to say?
Or perhaps there wasn't much to say in the first place.
Different strokes for different folks; different paths for different lives.
Only time can tell what all this means, yet:
"Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love, time is eternity." - Henry Van Dyke
Still having that nagging headache and a slight fever. Wonder if I will ever get better.
Anyway, Guojiu messaged me on MSN, asking about how I am getting on these days. Talk about graduation and stuff. He asked me to mind my words as Linsay is at his house... So our converstaion was sort of restricted. Chatted for a while before he asked me to send him songs again.
Man, Syah and his girlfriend, Shazniah looks very competible together. They make a very good looking pair. Seems that both of them are very muhc deeply in love. All the best to them.
Was rudely awakened at 9am by the constant banging on the front gate. Jim dropped by to pass me back the DVDs that I lent him a month ago... If he did not turn up to return them today, I won't even remember that I lent them to him. Luckily, he remembered the DVDs, or else I would have lost my precious DVDs. Invited him in for breakfast. I switched on the television and went to wash myself up. After bathing and changing, I made ham and bacon for breakfast. Made some sandwiches too, but we were too full after the ham and bacon. I offered to cook lunch for Kim since he is already here and lunch hour is near, but he refused. The reason? He got to meet his Samantha, his girlfriend for lunch at Bugis before a movie. Well, it seems that I am the only one left, who is single these days. The thoughts of it brought back some unhappy memories.
Since the kitchen is in a mess and oily after my frying in the morning, I continued to make a mess out of it by making Smoked Chicken and fried eggs for lunch. Spent a total of 1 hours and 22 minutes in the kitchen making lunch. Seems that time passes very fast when you are doing something that you enjoys. While eating my lunch, I did not have any regrets of the sight of the kitchen. The kitchen was really in a mess and needed a good, long cleaning up.
Wanted to start my house chores at 2pm after my lunch, but felt extremely lazy after my scrumptious lunch. It is always the same case, when you finish taking your lunch in the hot afternoon that you felt that you can use a good afternoon nap. I went to switch on the computer, but realised instead that my computer is yet to be fixed, so there is still no Internet access. Argh... I lazed around my bed for 20 minutes instead before driving myself to work.
Did dusting, wiping the tables, chairs, pack the whole damn house, doing up the bed, sweeping the floor and mopping the floor. So many tasks... After finishing them, I still have to water the plants. My poor plants have been water-deprived for 3 days since I left for Genting. My neighbor did not help me to water them, so they are in a terrible state.
After finishing all my chores, I was perspiring like a running tap. Went to take a long bath, soaking myself in water for 30 minutes with my Discman blasting music through my computer's speaker. It's been a long time since I last took a long bath. It is very relaxing, helping to calm the nerves and relax the body. Sounds very much like a girl, you can say... Haha...
By the time I got out of the toilet, it's 5.30pm. Just nice to catch a show before the news on Channel U. Watched TV until 6.30pm before making dinner. This time, dinner will be a simple affair. I do not want to mess up the kitchen, which I just spent effort in cleaning. A look into my refrigerator tells me that I am going to have instant noodles for dinner. Chicken, beef, pork and vegetables... How not to make a mess cooking them? Had instant noodles with the remains shreds of Smoked Chicken that I had for lunch. Sounds pathetic...
After dinner, I went to link up my laptop and surfed the net. Found several interesting stuffs in my emails. My auntie is away on a golfing trip... Which means I might get a present from her... Not bad... Went onto MSN. When I successfully logged in, I set my status as "Busy" right away. Redzhuan being himself messaged me "Sure or not? You away meh?". I haven't seen him for ages since he entered into NS. I chatted up with him, talking about things and my graduation on the 16th of August.
Today's a great day, where I did a lot of things and managed to get myself working. A new day is also a new beginning for me each day. Realised that there is no point brooding on things, which are out of our hands or problems that we could not control. It is better to look things on the brighter side, thus easing the burden on my friends, who have been by your side, helping you to get pass my problems.
Looking forward to tomorrow, as there will be more surprises will spring on me. And I am ready to take them one by one at a time.
Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight,
Will there be someone thinking of me and loving me tonight?
Is there someone who's also saying a prayer,
That we'll find one another in this big somewhere out there.
Even though I know we may be very far apart,
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.
And when the night wind starts to sing its lonesome lullaby,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.
Somewhere out there, if fate will see us through
Then we'll find each other somewhere out there,
Out where dreams come true.
He sits alone at a table in a small cafe
Drowning his tears in a bottomless cup of coffee
And he's tumbling into his thoughts
His memories are all tied to knots
And who is going to save him
No one wants to know him
She stands alone in a place where no one knows her name
She catches them staring they turn around and vanish the frame
And she's nursing her head and her pride
She died long ago deep down inside
And who is going to save her
No one wants to know her
I can't believe that you'd pull on a sleeve when you cry
You stick in the knife then give the kiss of life
Live the lie
And we all have a saviour
So do yourself a favour
Stop living the lie
Stop living the lie
He sits alone and looks up to the eyes of an angel
She catches him staring and smiles the smile of an angel
And she asks him if this chair is free
He said yes will you sit here with me
No one would have saved him
We should all learn from them
I can't believe that you'd pull on a sleeve when you cry
You stick in the knife then give the kiss of life
Live the lie
And we all have a saviour
So do yourself a favour
Stop living the lie
Was supposed to meet Guojiu and Zixian today to go chill out. But woke up with another bad headache in the morning.
SMSed Guojiu that I can't go with them and suggested going out tomorrow instead. Waited for his SMS... But there is no reply in hours. I felt like a bastard, bastarding them at the very last moment. They must be mad at me, that's why they did not reply. Guess once again, I have proven to be a bastard as usual.
Since I did not have any plans to go out today, I decided to tweak my computer, as there is a lot of rubbish taking up unnecessary hard disk space. I removed some files and tried to reinstall and repair the existing copy of Windows 2000 into my hard disk. After hours of installing and tweak, I found myself finding a damn computer, which gave me even more problems than before. What the fuck have I done? Felt totally stupid to made more problem as a result of my reinstalling and deleting, I gave up trying to solve the problems.
At this time, Leonard called me. The first thing that came to my mind was what Zixian had said the other day. "Looks like you and Leonard are best friends. One fat one thin, one tall one short. Enjoying each other's company." I immediately rejected his call. One thing is that I am in no mood to answer his call, second is I don't wish to be misunderstood to be his best friend. I know it is very evil of me to say this, but I just like our relation remain as a normal friend, nothing more.
Leonard may not the best of friends of mine, but he is still considered to be a friend. If I were to behave like everyone else, who are avoiding him, how many friends would he have left? The latest friend of his I heard is a mental case (WeiLi). It was totally unexpected. I guess that is the result of having friends, who tries their very best to avoid you until you have no one else to talk to.
I have a very strong feeling that sooner or later, I will be like Leonard. No one to turn to. No one to talk to. Everyone's avoiding me. The only people, who talk to me, are my parents, relatives... No more friends. This is almost how I am spending each day for the past 3 months... Pathetic isn't it?
Anyway, since I could not use the computer at all, I switched my attention to my room. There were clothes and bags all over the place due to the Genting trip. Have yet to wash my clothes and clean up the room. Needless to say, I will have to clean the house up tomorrow and get the clothes washed.
The girl, who lived downstairs, came up to borrow a Philip screwdriver. This is the first time I got to look at her face to face since her family moved here last month. Well, she looks nice, but this will be the last thing I will be thinking on my mind. I do not want to embroil myself into more trouble and headaches anymore. Another thing is she is very intelligent. I am very much inferior compared to her. So on what terms am I supposed to like her? She, Beautiful & Intelligent. Me, Ugly & Stupid. Definitely this won't work out.
With another day drawing closer to an end, my graduation, doctor appointment and enlistment day are closer too. Issues and problems piling up and yet to be settled.
:Posted By: 
Dog:
Mouse:
Lion:
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Turtle:
Dove:
Panther:
Monkey:
