Haiz...

Another bad news for the day...

Ivy's hopes of patching with her ex just went down the slumps. I really don't understand why he is shunning her. That hurting SMS reply that she got for SMSing him. All I could guess is that she is very dependant on him, and that caused him to felt that there is a lot of pressure... Maybe that's why he is acting this way.

Ivy is now drinking her sorrows away as I am typing. Just hope that she doesn't drink too much and ruin herself.

Well, things are up to God to decide on what will happen. All I hope is that everything will be fine soon, regardless of what the result is.

All I can do now is to change the background music and hope that the new background music will help to lessen the pain and cheer Ivy up.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:42 pm||||||||||.
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There is nothing much to update about these few days. Several unpleasent happenings had taken place these few days and everyone is very tensed about it.

Anyway, I am still working on my "ReadMe" file. It will likely to be up on the website within this week, if nothing goes wrong and no delays.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:53 pm||||||||||.
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David Soul - Don't Give Up On Us

Don't give up on us, baby
Don't make the wrong seem right
The future isn't just one night
It's written in the moonlight
Painted on the stars
We can't change ours

Don't give up on us, baby
We're still worth one more try
I know we put a last one by
Just for a rainy evening
When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

I really lost my head last night
You've got a right to start believing
There's still a little love left, even so

Don't give up on us, baby
Lord knows we've come this far
Can't we stay the way we are?
The angel and the dreamer
Who sometimes plays a fool
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

It's written in the moonlight
Painted on the stars
We can't change ours

Don't give up on us, baby
We're still worth one more try
I know we put a last one by
Just for a rainy evening
When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

Don't give up on us, baby
Don't give up on us, baby


We're still worth one more try. We're still worth many more tries. I still can't believe you've given up.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:42 am||||||||||.
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God's say:

"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:43 pm||||||||||.
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It's kind of sad to hear that Ivy's sister had a little misunderstanding about Ivy.

Hope that they can work out their differences soon...

Here is one of Ivy's many SMSes.



In case, you can't read the SMS clearly as the picture I took is very unclear. Here is what the SMS said:

"Benson, I really feel e heart pain leh.. Im not a gd sis, im so lousy.."

Pei Jun, if you are reading this post, please clear up the misunderstanding with your sister. She is taking the misunderstanding very seriously. The only she wishes is that you will forgive her as she felt that she caused all of these.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:13 am||||||||||.
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The following is a forwarded mail:

I would like to appeal for eye-witnesses for a hit and run traffic accident involving my grandfather, Thong Youn San, 73 years old. He was riding his motorcycle along CTE, towards the direction of Ang Mo Kio on Sunday (19/09/04) morning at
around 5.10am. He was hit near the Moulmein exit, the stretch of the expressway should be near Jalan Bahagia. He was travelling on the extreme left lane when he was hit from the back by a speeding car, suspected to be driven by a drunk driver. My grandfather was thrown from his bike and rolled several metres on the tarmac. He is
currently in a serious condition at Tan Tock Seng hospital with many broken bones and bruises on his face. The driver who hit him did not even stop to see, but just sped away. Luckily for other road users who called the ambulance and police, is he
able to make it to the hospital. However, my grandfather did not manage to see anything as he was knocked unconscious immediately, but has since regained consciousness.

I would like to appeal to you if you had seen the accident or know of anyone who was involved in any accidents this Sunday morning at around 5.10am. It would be better if the person involved confesses now rather than have the police round him up, it would be a double charge as hit and run accidents are equittable to homicide. This case has been referred to the police and they are in the process of investigating.

Please contact Jia Quan at hjiaquan@singnet.com.sg or call me at 97950902 if you have any leads.

Otherwise, please forward this mail to as many people as possible. And please, do not drink and drive or speed. Its nothing to you when it doesn't happen to you or your family.

*Thank you for your time. Will appreciate it very much if u can post this in ur bulletin board too.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:26 pm||||||||||.
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Dear Emmannuel

I don't know since when,
I had fallen into your companion.
You had suddenly became one important person to me..

I had grown comfortable in your company.
So warm, I could melt my heart when I'm with you..
I could let my emotion and conscious to be heard..
Never in pretense,
whenever I'm in your kingdom.

You are always there to remind:
how lucky I am, how it could be worst..
and most of all, your "everything's OK" assurance,
all written on your face, had always..
never fails, to console me.

How grateful I am to have such a friend!

But the more I get closer, the more I fear..
And the fearful day had finally arrived.
The pain I had to endure to loose you..
I must go! Before I'd grown fond of you..

"Dear Emmanuel"

Dear Emmanuel was written on September 28, 2004. I am just another defeated soldier of love, still searching for a friend, a brother or a sister, but then the Passion flares again.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||4:56 pm||||||||||.
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My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be...

[Chorus]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be...

[Chorus]
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

[x2]Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:22 pm||||||||||.
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Pictures Of Yesterday's Cookie Making.


Ingredient For Cookies.


Mixing Butter With Brown Sugar.


Blending Eggs In The Butter & Sugar Mixture.


After Mixing Chocolate Chips & Flavouring.


Ready To Bake.


Finish Baking.


Cooling Down.


Kitchen In A Mess 1.


Kitchen In A Mess 2.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||9:42 am||||||||||.
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Haiz...

Once again, things didn't go as well as planned. My mum went to sleep. Didn't have the heart to wake her up and ask her to hunt for the present. Guess the hunting of the present will be in the morning.

Very disappointed actually. All the secrecy, suspense and effort went down the drain. Should have done it another way instead of this. How dumb was I to think of this plan to surprise her.

I hate myself being being me.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||12:07 am||||||||||.
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Just got back from Bishan.

Been moon cake hunting with Val just now at Bishan Junction 8. At last, after some time hunting, she settled for the moon cakes at one of the booth. I think it was Harvest Restaurant.

Anyway, I sent an SMS to Sean and Jean, wishing them a Happy Birthday. What I got from Sean was really unexpected. Here's the reply from him:

"Thank you, but I'm afraid I don't know who you are...

What could I say? I was utterly disappointed. Guess I am really not part of the group anymore. Well, can't blame anyone for that... Anyone would delete my number from their phonebook after some time. Well, I think I fall into the same category with Leonard in Sean's eyes.

As for Jean, I was kind of thankful that she remembered me. Even someone like Jean, whom I hardly get into contact with, remembers me. Thanks, Jean.

Hmm... Sorry, guys... I don't think I have the time to upload the pictures of the "Cookie Making Session" now. I got to hide the present that I got for my mum's Birthday, in her room now, to give her a surprise at 12am. Need to make sure that she stays awake up till then. At 12am, I will ask her to hunt for the present.

But I will upload the pictures first thing in the morning.

Today was a great day. Makes lots of cookies and had tons of fun doing so. I gave some to my neighbours and Val. They commented that the cookies are nice. Had a bit of fun shopping with Val for her moon cakes too. The only unfortunate happening is Sean's SMS reply to me. Maybe, I should just treat it as another sad thing in life. Another case similar to yesterday, except that this person have forgotten me..

All I hope now is that my mum will be happy to receive the present I have for her.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:49 pm||||||||||.
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After a long day...

At last, I get to sit in front of the computer. Been busy the whole morning and afternoon doing cookies.

I have changed the background music to Hua De Jia Sha. A very beautiful song by Cyndi Wang Xin Ling. I have been searching for this song for weeks. At last, I got it last night while editing Ivy's report.

Now... Later in the evening, I will need to make a trip down to Heartland Mall's San Bookstore to look for more books to read. Then after that, I agreed to meet Val for a chat. She's been through a rough patch lately, and will really need someone to talk to at the moment.

Will be updating much more later in the night when I get home.

Meanwhile, enjoy the music and reading the blog.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||6:52 pm||||||||||.
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A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words. What were the five words? The husband just said "I am with you, Darling" The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead.

He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY

This story is really worth reading...

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||3:56 pm||||||||||.
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If you're mad with someone, and nobody's there to fix the situation...
You fix it.
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend . And if u don't,
Tomorrow can be too late

-------------------------------------------------------------

If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know...
Tell him/her.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you.
And if you don't say it,
Tomorrow can be too late .

-------------------------------------------------------------

If you really want to kiss somebody...
Kiss him/her.
Maybe that person wants a kiss from you too.
And if you don't kiss him/her today,
Tomorrow can be too late

-------------------------------------------------------------

If you still love a person that you think has forgetten you...
Tell him/her.
Maybe that person have always loved you.
And if you don't tell him/her today ,
Tomorrow can be too late.

-------------------------------------------------------------

If you need a hug of a friend...
Ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do.
And if you don't ask for it today,
Tomorrow can be too late.

-------------------------------------------------------------

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:18 pm||||||||||.
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Just finished editing Ivy's report.

Since I was too mad to sleep, I might as well help her to the best I can. After editing her report, I felt very tired. My back injury is also starting to act up. Pain all over my body.

It could be due all the drinking just now too. I am still fu*king mad about what had happened at the gathering.

Anyway, all these unhappiness aside.

I noticed that the background music is very soft at times. So, what I did was to introduced a volume control bar at the media player. Hope that this will help.

BTW, I have made the song play once instead of the usual endless looping.

I might change the background music tomorrow. So for those who wants to hear "Pei Wo Kan Ri Chu", listen while you can.

Need to get to sleep now. Will be baking cookies in the morning tomorrow. So, I need my energy and sleep.

So long, guys.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:23 am||||||||||.
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Wah.....

Now editing Ivy's report... Her report very "Tok Gong". The whole feeling I get from reading her report is that the report is a casual description instead of a formal report. I don't know which kind her boss prefers... Aiyah, just edit for her to my best extent.

Anyway, the gathering sux! See this word "SUX!". The whole gathering affair sucks to the max. The only saving grace is my best friends. Everyone else seems to be trying their very best to impress everyone especially those guys from that Citi group. Yes. I am talking about you guys, Daniel, Richard, Steven, Li Lian, Shermine, Wesly, Catherine, June and Ian. Our rivalry with Citi group has gone back to a long time ago and deep.

Let's start with Daniel. This fu*king irritating guy always tried to stick into our conversation and try to show off his knowledge. At the end of the day, we don't even have any freaking idea what the shit he been trying to say. Maybe we are too stupid to understand what he was saying. Please kindly pardon us for our stupidity.

Next, Richard and Wesly. OK... You guys have the fu*king beautiful girlfriends. So? It doesn't mean that for every 30 seconds, you guys need to kiss and show everyone your affections for each other. Please... The gathering wasn't held in a fu*king low dim lighting area. It is at Gary's house, OK? It was so brightly lilted. Everyone could see you guys in plain view. Do you have to do that? Just because the 3 of us have always been above you, and this is the only time, where we lost to you. We may be still single, but I still think we are the best guys around. Wesly, didn't you realized that your girlfriend was trying to flirt with me during the gathering. Look at the ways she got her hands all over me. Please look at that. You think you are all that good? Nah... I don't think so. Anyway, just a note for you. I rejected your girlfriend's offer to have me over at her house after the gathering.

Li Lian, Shermine and Catherine... You three are still the three bitches that we known for so long. True nature never changes. The whole afternoon, you three have been taking turns flirting with Jerry and some other guys. For what fu*k? You gals need to show us that you gals are no longer virgins? Well, we could guess years ago. Jumping at every well to do guy you see. It is no wonder you three are best friends.

Steven... We get the idea that you are now a doctor. Actually, we had known that for a long time. You are the one who excels in class and never happy when your grades are below 90. We did tell you to ease it out and relax a bit on your aims. Now that you have achieved your ambitions, you don't have to rub it in by saying that "If I had listen to you earlier, I won't be up so high on the corporate ladder." What the fu*k you need to say that for? Cocky huh? Well, you are still never better than one of us. You may be a doctor, but you never get to enjoy life like us.

Hmm... June... OK... I admitted that I liked you at one point of time. And yes, I didn't have the guts to admit it and accept your love. So? I did not regret choosing Sara over you despite what had happened. Please don't assume that I am now a despo and will accept any girl who comes by. And please stop bringing up that you had rejected tons of guys just because you waited for me and in the end, I treated you this way. You know that I still treat you as a friend, unlike how you treated the other guys. You were very pestering despite me telling you that it is impossible between the 2 of us at the moment. I could just lied to you and have you tonight, but I am not like those guys who you claimed were your good friends. I still treat you with respect. Let's just give me more time.

Ian... What can I say? I don't wish to go into details what you did. Everyone knows that you are a sore loser. Just because you lost a card game with someone, it doesn't mean that you can push that someone down the pool. All through these years, I know that you still bear that grudge against me ever since. Could you let it pass? After all those defaming things you told everyone about me, I did not hold it against you. It is not that I do not have to guts to find you. Let's just face it. Do you even think you can win me in a brain or brawl fight? I seriously don't think so.

Today could be a wonderful day, but unexpected things ruined everything.

Readers, please kindly excuse my use of words and language.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:58 pm||||||||||.
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WTH...

I just got a call from University of New South Wales. They are offering me a place in the university in the next academic year at the School of Information Systems, Technology and Management. What is ever more attractive is that they offered me a high advanced standing option due to my results. I need only to go through 1 and a half years of university studies to get my Bachelor of Science in Information Systems with a Honours option in my 2nd year.

The advanced standing came as a major surprise. According to my calculations, if I can do well and proceed up the years as expected, I will be able to graduate in around 2 years time with a Bachelor of Commerce in Information Systems and 3 years for a Honours.

But there is another problem... My National Service!!! If I am a Stay-in Personnel after my 3 months of Basic Military Training (BMT), then I will have to forfeit this offer.

Haiz... Everything will have to wait until I completed my BMT before I could commit myself.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||5:26 pm||||||||||.
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Odd

I don't want to cry,
to love you..
Thinking you beneath the star.
Alone,
with someone else.

I don't want to try,
it's painful..
watching you,
watching me..
hide away;
Humanity

Fate that keeps us together,
kept us apart.

"Odd"


Odd was written on September 26, 2004. Love is the strange thing our hearts do, the beauty of loving someone so much, yet it hurts. There's no pointers of us remain silence, I want your life to flow; I love you, so I'll go.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||2:09 pm||||||||||.
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Damn...

I don't know why I felt so empty tonight. Been turning and tossing on the bed, unable to get to sleep.

All I can think of is how lonely I am now. It's been some time since I heard from Sara.

Am I missing her so much that everytime she comes to mind, I can't get to sleep and wander how she is getting on.

Am I the only one who thinks of her? Wills he be thinking of me too? Seriously, I doubt so. If she is concerned about me, I guess she would be sent back a letter or at least, get into contact with me, letting me know that she is fine.

Guess there is no hope between us two now. Instead of holding on to hopes that she will not change after 3 years, I think I should take everyone's advice and start to open up my options and start living.

OMG... It is 1.46am now and I seriously think that I need a girlfriend!!!

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:46 am||||||||||.
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Friends will come and friends will go,
The seasons change and it will show,
I will age and so will you,
But our friendship stays, strong and true.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:50 pm||||||||||.
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A Joke For Today

But you won't understand the joke unless you're a Singaporean.

In Singapore, the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB),

And most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).

Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).

If that's not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and get more from you.

So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?

With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA),

Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB).

And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.

When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital (MOH),

You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund.

If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you,

And you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).

To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE).

If that doesn't help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the roads.

If you don't own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT),

OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS).

Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax,

Not even the good old place we used to go because it has become

So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!!

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:08 am||||||||||.
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The Way - Clay Aiken

There's something 'bout the way you look tonight,
There's something 'bout the way that I can't take my eyes off you.
There's something 'bout the way your lips invite,
Maybe it's the way that I get nervous when your around.
And I want you to be mine and if you need a reason why,

[Chorus]
It's in the way that you move me, and the way that you tease me,
The way that I want you tonight,
It's in the way that you hold me, and the way that you know me,
When I can't find the right words to say,
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way.
There's something 'bout how you stay on my mind,
There's something 'bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep
Oh girl
Maybe it's the look you get in your eyes.
Maybe it's the way that makes me feel to see you smile.
And the reasons they may change .
But what I'm feeling stays the same.

[Chorus]
I can't put my fingers on just what it is that makes me love you, you baby.
So don't ask me to describe, I get all choked up inside, just thinking bout the way.

[Chorus]
There's something 'bout the way you look tonight.
There's nothing more to say then, I feel it in the way.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:02 pm||||||||||.
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  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:08 pm||||||||||.
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Respect

There are different forms of respect. One is that if your in someone's home you do not just walk in you knock first, so you can let them know you are there. Also you do not just go into their fridge and help yourself unless you ask.

Don't tell them what to do in their own house. Like would you like it if someone came into your place and did those things. Another type of respect would be treat people on how you would like to be treated.

Would you want someone to treat you bad, because that is how you treated him/her. How you dress is respect to some people, the workplace, and school. Compared to your home it would be different on how you dress.

In church or other celebrations require different types of respect. For church you need to be quit when the priest is talking. to stand when you are ask. Just like the grand entry of a pow wow.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:19 am||||||||||.
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My legs are aching and cramping up.

I went to Suntec City today. I got to look for a suitable gift for my mum's birthday urgently. Was shopping around CityLink when I saw Zixian. He was with Shasi sitting at Delifrance and chatting. He was very surprised to see me. Me too. Exchanged some greetings with them before leaving to search for my mum's birthday present.

I went to the Precious Tots at CityLink. Saw some figures that I liked, but most of them do not fit the theme "Mother's Birthday Present". My mum had told me to stop buying her jewellery. Most of the jewellery tat I got for her for the past years are mostly left untouched.

After shopping at CityLink, I went to Suntec City. Once again, nothing really caught my eye. Repeated walking around the whole building again. Still have nothing in mind. So I decided to move me ass to Orchard hoping that a change of place will give me more ideas as to what to buy.

Took a bus to Orchard. Orchard today is so crowded. A lot of OL (Office Lady) walking around. Is it payday soon? Most of them are like carrying branded paper bags. Extremely great spending power. Felt like going up to one of them and ask if they need a god-son. LOL...

Anyway, I shopped the whole stretch of Orchard. From Plaza Singapura up to Scott Shopping Mall. I even tried Borders Bookstore for more inspiration. Most of the things that caught my eye in Orchard was jewellery and more jewellery. There are some items that could be unique as a birthday present, but the price of them does not fit into my budget.

Was very disappointed to find myself empty handed. I decided to give Raffles City, CityLink, Marina Square and Suntec City another chance. Took the MRT back to City Hall and this time, I browsed through all the shops, be it jewellery, books or whatever. In the end, nothing still caught my eye.

Time was running out fast. I promised my mum that I will be back at 9pm for dinner. I did not want her to know that I was out shopping for her birthday present. I did stop by a few shops for a long time to take a look at VCDs and figures from Precious Tots. I felt quite tired from all these walking and browsing. I SMSed Zixian to find out whether he is still at CityLink. Waited for his reply, but it never came.

I discovered that I had been shopping for so long that I did not take note the time. It was 7.10pm when I last looked at my watch. OMG... I am late for dinner. Quickly rushed for the bus home. Had a very hard time waiting for the damn bus to arrive. I was sitting there like an idiot, waiting for 40 minutes for the god damn bus to come and there I am late for dinner. I bound to get a good questioning from my mum. Finally, Zixian's SMS came and told me that he wasn't there. Guess I worried too much.

Got home at 10.30pm. All that stupid bus's fault. Got a good dressing down from my mum.

An extremely tiring day. All those shopping and walking really made my legs wrinkled up.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:28 pm||||||||||.
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Four People You Will Meet In Life

Life is the process of finding love;
Every person will need to find four people in their life.

First person is you,
Second person is the one you love most,
Third person is the one who love you most,
And the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with.

In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn how love feels.

Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you most.

When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most.

Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most doesn't love you.
The one, who love you most, is never the one you love most.
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most or the one who love you most. He/She is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are you in other people's life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart.

At the point in time when he/she loves you, he/she really loves you.
But when he/she doesn't love you anymore, he/she really doesn't love you anymore.

When he/she loves you, he/she can't pretend that he/she doesn't.
Same goes, when he/she loves you no more, there's no way he/she can pretend he/she loves you.

When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you.
You must ask yourself if you still love him/her,

If you also don't love him/her anymore, do not keep him/her just to save your pride.

If you still love him/her, you should wish him/her happiness, and hope that he/she will be with the one he/she loves most, not stop him/her from it.

If you stop him/her from finding true happiness with the one he/she loves, it shows you already don't love him/her,

And if you don't love him/her, what rights do you have to blame him/her for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive,

If you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin,

But the moonlight still shines upon you.

In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person.

Let him/her become a permanent memory in you life.

If you really love a person, you must love him/her for what he/she is.

Love him/her for his/her good points, and the bad,

You can't wish for him/her to become like what you like him/her to be just because you love him/her.

If he/she can't change to become what you like him/her to be, you don't love him/her anymore.

When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him/her,

You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criterias.

In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end.

Being away from each other is a type of test,

If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.

Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love,

They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover.

These swear and promises are useless;
Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change!

We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean will never dry,
Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises;
Don't make promises that you cannot keep.

Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually.

Remember,
Swearing by things that can never happen are not the most touching!

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another;
The one saying, doesn't believe;
The one listening, also doesn't believe.

Which person have you found so far?

In the world so big, which person have you found?

And who has found you?

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:44 pm||||||||||.
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I Love The Rain

The rain is so peaceful its like bird chirping. When it rains it seems like it works away the wrongs to start anew. For myself it feels like it cleanse and relieves me of my irritate and stressed mood or feeling.

It looks so beautiful when you watch the rain fall onto the river. I don't know how it looks to me. Oh it looks like pebbles falling in the river to make the water ripple.

Rain helps things grow even a person even though they don't realize it. Some people think when it rains that is angels that are crying. They could be happy or sad depends on how your day went.

I love the rain because it soothes my soul and relaxes my mind. Makes me think when things go wrong it will get better. The sound of rain is like a song to my ears that is so incredible.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:17 am||||||||||.
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Was in an SMS exchange with Ivy just now...

Once again, I screwed up. She asked me to pray for her tomorrow because she has a meeting tomorrow morning. So... Instead of me replying "OK." to her, I went to reply this "OK, but you need to believe in yourself. No matter how much I pray for you won't help you much. You got to believe in yourself.". In the end, she replied with a "OK... Your SMS sometimes really make me down but you put out the truth.". I have suddenly smashed her face down with that SMS of mine. Instead of just comforting her, I made her face up with reality and make her upset again.

Damn... I am really bad with words. Sometimes, I really hope that I could find the right words at the right time. Everything of mine ended because of me, expressing the wrong feeling, or words, or actions at the wrong time. When will I learn?

Haiz...

(Note: I did not use the word "Failure" because someone complained about my frequent usage of that word.)

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:26 pm||||||||||.
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Time to panic!!!

My mum's birthday is arriving soon. And I have yet to prepare a present for her!!! OMG... It must be because of the things happening recently, that's why this slipped my mind.

I will have a busy day for tomorrow. Firstly and most importantly, I need to look for a present for my mum's birthday. She doesn't want me to buy anything that she doesn't use such as those Perini's Silver jewellery that I bought for the past 3 years. Last year, on Mother's Day and my mum's birthday, I bought gifts from Precious Tots. This year's present will be a terrible headache for me. My mum already has plenty of jewellery and she is quite fussy when it comes to jewellery... Treat her to lunch or dinner? Well... Not for this year, my dad will not be free on her birthday, so treating her to food will be meaningless. As for those figurines from Precious Tots... Our cupboard has run out of display space for new additions. What can I do this year??? I guess I will have to hang around Orchard and City Hall area for the whole day tomorrow to find a suitable gift...

Then next on the list, I will need to scout for nice tasting moon cakes for my god-parents. A gift to my god-parents is an annual matter for me. Chinese New Year, Christmas and Mooncake Festival. This time, my god-mother specifically asked me not to buy those Häagen-Dazs ice cream mooncakes, but to buy those mooncakes, which are in lotus paste with sesame seeds. Wonder what I could get nice tasting ones?

Anyone have any idea? If you know, please kindly write me an email about the place and price by 11am tomorrow morning, or call/SMS me on my hand phone by 12pm tomorrow afternoon, or just kindly leave the place and price over at the Tagboard, or Chatango, or in the Comment section. Thanks a lot...

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:33 pm||||||||||.
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Life...

In LIFE, LOVE is NEVER planned,
Nor does it happen for a reason.

But when the LOVE is REAL,
It becomes your PLAN for LIFE and your REASON for LIVING!

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you,
But for some reasons he couldn't stay,
Don't cry too much...

Just be glad that your paths crossed and,
Somehow he made you happy even for a while.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||7:34 pm||||||||||.
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A Cute Picture For The Afternoon

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:01 pm||||||||||.
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A fear resides within me.
It haunts me day and night
Tormenting me with thoughts
Of eternal pain and loneliness.

When dawn breaks and sun shines,
Nature draws my breath into tranquil.
Then the cold air trickles down
And I feel alone in the light.

Yet when night falls and stars alit,
Tears drop like little glittering stars.
My mind wanders treacherously round
And the composition of fear plays.

When will I taste sweetness that once was?
When will I see daylight in it's purest?
When will I see night and feel romance?
A fear resides in me that few knows.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||9:25 am||||||||||.
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I was very glad that Ivy called me last night. I was very shocked when I heard her crying on the phone.

We talked about the problems and tried to find alternatives out of the solutions. Let's just put her problem as a family one. I am not in a position to elaborate on them.

Her situation does not seem good, and there are very limited things we can do. She felt like moving out, I spent quite an amount of time explaining to her what she should be expecting if she moved out. From the response she gave me, I think she wasn't prepared for that yet. Regardless of how bad her family situation is, I think she should stay put and endure on. There is no point in trying to avoid the conflicts as she will face it everyday. There is also no point in getting upset and bothered over it. It would be better if she can just dump all the troubles away and wake up a brand new Ivy each day.

Anyway, we did some talk about other things too. I told her some details about myself that not a lot of people know about. At the end of the conversation, I have managed to lent a hearing ear to Ivy and get her more cheered up. I felt very happy knowing that I did provide some help to her when she needs someone to talk to. But there is one thing that I still trying to change is her sending of SMS via the +88888 number...

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||8:09 am||||||||||.
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It is a wet, wet weather today.

The skies have been dark and raining the whole morning until late afternoon. I was forced to stay at home by the downpour of the rain. At one minute, the rain looks to be stopping, and at the next minute, the rain once again started to pour. It is so hard to predict when the rain will stop. I might as well stay at home and read the books I borrowed yesterday night from Cheng San Library.

Towards the night, I was sad to receive an SMS from Ivy. She had a bad quarrel with her parents and was in a super bad mood. I felt very helpless because I couldn't help her at all. I wished that I could hear the story from both sides and advise them on the situation. I believed that Ivy SMSed me because she was looking for someone to talk to and pour her feelings out. But I was so useless in helping. Not only did I not offer her some encouraging words, I told her that I couldn't comment on the matter because I don't know anything. After messaging her that SMS, I felt very regretful. I should have listened to what she has to say instead of just replying that. I believed that she was hurt by my words.

She sent an SMS asking me if I think she was selfish. Actually, I don't think she was selfish. She had more problems than what her parents could understand. I do not wish to be an object of envy. Although I lived alone, there are somethings in life that I missed out on. Like family warmth, relationship building and most important of all, parental love. Ivy may think that being like me, living alone is good. Something that she wished she can do, but what I can say is, "Tell talking to your parents about it." Communication with parents is never easy, it takes both sides to compromise and listen to one another, but being parents, they mostly expect their children to listen to them and not have second thoughts about their words.

Ivy did not reply my SMS... I am beginning to worry about her. How could I turn her away when she needs someone to talk to? That is really foolish of me. I should have empathized with her and try to help her find a solution. I shouldn't have sent that dumb SMS. Right now, I am worried if she is feeling alright. I wanted very much to call her and find out how she is feeling, but I am afraid that she might be mad at me for that SMS. What should I do? Have I done the right thing? I really doubt so. So much for being a friend for a friend who is in need of one.

I am really a failure in life and relationships. Hope that Ivy can forgive me for the words I have used in that SMS. I might have the right intention, but I definitely made the wrong approach. So in the end, it is still the same as giving no help to her. The only thing I hope now is that she will be fine and that she will give me a call to chat about it.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:57 pm||||||||||.
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*+:::][ A Story Of Hope ][:::+*

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue. . . There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy. "Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:23 pm||||||||||.
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Can anyone spot anything wrong in this picture? Look carefully.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||9:51 pm||||||||||.
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我不孤单，
应为我有我的影子陪伴。

I AM NOT LONELY,
BECAUSE MY SHADOW IS ACCOMPANYING ME.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:30 am||||||||||.
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I delicate the new background song, "Wen Rou Nu Hai" to that cute girl, whom works at Heartland Mall San Bookstore.

Hmm... Come to think about it... I don't even know what is her name... Am I a failure or what?

By the way, if you happened to be that girl, who works at Heartland Mall San Bookstore, please leave your name here ok? It's ok if you don't want to, no offense meant.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:43 am||||||||||.
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Not much to write today.

I received a call from Heartland Mall San Bookshop in the morning. I was informed by one of the staff that the book (Deception Point) that I reserved has arrived and is available for my collection at anytime. It was not that girl, whom took my reservation that time. I could recognize her voice... It was a different girl...

Anyway, I did the daily chores as usual in the afternoon. My leg hurts very badly. Walking with a limp is very awkward to me. I took an hour longer than the usual 40 minutes to finish the chores. Skipped lunch and snacked on tons of Kit Kat.

I went to Heartland Mall at 8pm to collect my book. That girl (CUTE GIRL!!!) who took my reservation was there! I turned into San Bookshop and said, "Sorry, I am here to..." Before I could finish my sentence, she looked at me and said, "Benson... I was wondering when you will come and collect the book. I thought you have forgotten about it." She said "Deception Point, right?", as she took out the book from the drawer below.

WOW!!! She can actually remember me! I placed the reservation a month ago and she only saw me once. And yet, she can remember my name and what I reserved. Either San Bookshop don't get a lot of reservation, or I left quite an impression on that day when I placed the reservation.

Although her face has 3 more pimples than that day, she still looked nice with that face. I shyly nodded my head and thanked her for the favor she had done for me. Not wanting to appear desperate or anything, I quickly paid for the book and thanked her again. I did managed to squeeze out a "Goodbye and good night~~~" to her.

I quickly walked to the bus stop to board a bus to Hougang Mall, as I need to return 3 overdue books and borrow some new ones to read. I also have to purchase a 10kg bag of rice, as my home supply of rice had ran out.

Managed to get to Hougang Mall in 15 minutes. But walking to the library is a chore. With this injured leg of mine, I wonder if I can actually make my way up to level 3 in 5 minutes. Returned the 3 overdue books and borrowed 3 more. I think my overdue fines have accumulated to a total of at least $10. Well, as long as I can still borrow books, I don't think I will be paying the fines as yet.

Next, I went to NTUC to buy rice. 10kg leh... Heavy sia... Some more need to drag it home with this stupid injured leg. 10.15pm liao, so I went to the bus interchange to take a bus home.

Took bus service 113 back home. When the bus passed by Heartland Mall, I was secretly hoping that that cute girl, who worked at San Bookshop, have knocked off from work and happened to be taking the same bus as me. But to my disappointment, there is no sign of her. It seems that she doesn't take bus home. Anyway, I believe girls of this kind are already happily attached, so I might as well just live on my dreams.

At last, I reached home and my leg is beginning to act up again due to all the walking. Blood oozed out the wounds... Painful and bloody... Think I got to stay at home for the next few days to get my wounds properly healed.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:51 pm||||||||||.
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Your Character On Your Birthdate...

Is your birthday day 1 of the month?

Your Life

You are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in something, everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in life.

Your Love

You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the person. Vise versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your expression. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.

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Is your birthday day 2 of the month?

Your Life

You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance for self-control problem.

Your Love

Your love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented with your unrequited love. Your are a romantic and loyal lover.

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Is your birthday day 3 of the month?

Your Life

Although you are innocent and romantic but your expression often mislead others that you are an active, fun loving kid. Because of your double personality, it's hard for others to really know the real you. You are careful and patient.

Your Love

Your love is the greatest which often surprises others. No one can bring you to light when you are in love. Your confidence might lead you to the track your parents disagree.

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Is your birthday day 4 of the month?

Your Life

You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid. People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around. You are cheerful and friendly.

Your Love

Still water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise others with your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.

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Is your birthday day 5 of the month?

Your Life

Although you are on the quiet side, but you enjoy excitement and changes. Routine is something you cannot stand. Because of your extreme confidence, you hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading your own life, and you have got the gift in doing so.

Your Love

Nothing can stop you from making progress in your love life. Once you are in love, you feel the ownership of your lover. A third party can only makes your jealousy becomes worse.

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Is your birthday day 6 of the month?

Your Life

You are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that people find you
nosey. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise others. Your imagination is extremely unique.

Your Love

Your love life is on the smooth track because it grows from friendship. Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity bring happiness to your couple.

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Is your birthday day 7 of the month?

Your Life

You are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind your extreme persistence.

Your Love

You have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship often progress quickly.

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Is your birthday day 8 of the month?

Your Life

You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look u to your wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you.

Your Love

Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time you are lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.

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Is your birthday day 9 of the month?

Your Life

You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.

Your Love

You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children.

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Is your birthday day 10 of the month?

Your Life

You are very capable. If you are a woman, you have high chance to be a renowned
workingwoman. If you are a man, your path to fame and honor is near. As an innovator, you are not a good follower. You are good in implementing your imagination and share it with others. You are always well dressed.

Your Love

You often lose your love ones from being too jealous. You always feel like you own the person you fall in love with and that often blows your relationship.

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Is your birthday day 11 of the month?

Your Life

You are gracious, elegant and prudent. People admire your qualities and some even become jealous of you. You are realistic, flexible and adaptable. You are remarkably kind and moral person.

Your Love

You are willing to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Your lover will always have your gentleness, care and loyalty. You will always be happy to hand around the one you love.

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Is your birthday day 12 of the month?

Your Life

You are friendly, humorous and full of energy. You are open-minded and do not care for minor details. Your weak point is your hot temper.

Your Love

You are willing to start off in one-sided love affairs because you strongly believe that you will eventually win his/her heart. On the other hand, once you are together, you always want to do things your way, which is often the fire starter. You usually run in and out of love quickly.

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Is your birthday day 13 of the month?

Your Life

You are sincere and easy going. Flattering and charming around are not your style. You care so much for freedom that often leads you to the difficult path. Because of your sincerity, most people find you easy to be around although you are sometimes too straightforward.

Your Love

Your gentleness, care and sincerity make you an attractive person. Eventhough you don't intend to be charming, but you naturally are, especially in the eyes of opposite sex.

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Is your birthday day 14 of the month?

Your Life

You are so confident that sometimes you forget about the people around you. If you have to be in one of the two teams, you will choose to be in the winning team. On the other hand, you are kind and caring but above all, you care for your own benefits. Your imagination is unique and often gets implemented shortly after it
comes across.

Your Love

You will not get soft with the one you don't really like, no matter how hard he/she tries. But once you feel for someone you have chosen, there's no getting back.

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Is your birthday day 15 of the month?

Your Life

You are outgoing and love to be at the center of attention. From the outside, you may seem flashy, flirty, and tricky but your true self is strong, full of hope to be the leader. When you fail to convince someone, you will get frustrated, and perhaps let your temper shows.

Your Love

You are emotional. Many can win your heart at once, but not for long. This is why you hardly win a decent relationship.

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Is your birthday day 16 of the month?

Your Life

You always follow the good and the right instead of listening to your heart. Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word people say about you. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature, curious and a dreamer who is ready to
get over the edge to make your dream comes true.

Your Love

You often fall in love with a person who is much different from you, in age and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at fist sight is not your style.

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Is your birthday day 17 of the month?

Your Life

You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish and not very attractive in that sense.

Your Love

Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great.You often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have to choose only one.

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Is your birthday day 18 of the month?

Your Life

At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good
mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around.

Your Love

You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.

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Is your birthday day 19 of the month?

Your Life

You are great in managing everything in your life and this is how you gain respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel that you are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the wrong path. You are a free
bird and want to lead your own life.

Your Love

You love life is rather different from others'. When you are in love, nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon after that, you will make up in a way that surprises others.

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Is your birthday day 20 of the month?

Your Life

You are prudent, circumspect and take things seriously. Before you make any move, you will think of a few alternatives that might take a while. You are patient, imaginative and target oriented. You value friendship more than anything else.

Your Love

You usually study your partner carefully before making any move. You never demand anything beyond the natural quality of that person. Your sincerity doesn't bring excitement in your love life but it brings deeply grown relationship.

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Is your birthday day 21 of the month?

Your Life

You are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much that it seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your disagreement under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours.

Your Love

You are quite unlucky in love. You are loved by someone you don't like while your dream man is so far away. Your love life is occasionally under turbulence. Sometimes you don't have the clear view of the guy in your heart.

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Is your birthday day 22 of the month?

Your Life

You have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up to you for your capability and confidence although they find you quite stubborn. You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming individual.

Your Love

You hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone. Whom you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you won't let them get away without having hard time.

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Is your birthday day 23 of the month?

Your Life

You never live your life in the way others want you to. You are an independent individual who loves challenges and excitement. You are ready to face with the result of your decision. You are usually the one your friends count on.

Your Love

Because you love excitements, you occasionally get involved in forbidden love affairs. You may fall in love with a married person and no one can stop you from making progress. You are very charming, although you might not realize it.

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Is your birthday day 24 of the month?

Your Life

You are very optimistic and that's why you always enjoy life. You are gifted in entertaining others. Your friends love and trust you. You'll be the first they come to when they are in need of someone to speak their heart out.

Your Love

Sometimes you fall in love just because you want to be in love, not that you really like that person. You always be seen as a sweet couple but you can't really get over your love ones from past. Your partner is usually crazy about you because you are remarkably charming and romantic.

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Is your birthday day 25 of the month?

Your Life

You are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal. You always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will eventually bring you success.

Your Love

You adore your partner as the number one priority. You value your love one more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have potential to get married young.

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Is your birthday day 26 of the month?

Your Life

You are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way you choose to live. Travelling is your favorite hobby because excitement is what you are after.

Your Love

You will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes and goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be looking around for the next one.

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Is your birthday day 27 of the month?

Your Life

You are sensitive and vulnerable. Tears often run down your cheeks even when the matter is not that bad. This might be the result from being to pessimistic. You might seem cold on the shell, but your inner self is a kind loving person.

Your Love

You will be elegantly dressed, no matter how casually dressed your date may be. You are emanding in love and sometimes to an unacceptable extend.

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Is your birthday day 28 of the month?

Your Life

You are a capable person but you usually underestimate your own ability. This is the cause of missing numbers of opportunity to step forward. If you try to give yourself a chance, you can be successful in life. Try to see things on the bright side and you will be happier than ever.

Your Love

You are quite unlucky in love. The one in your arm is not the one in your heart. Your love has so many ups and downs. You often chicken out before seeing any progress in love.

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Is your birthday day 29 of the month?

Your Life

You can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is not your interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You often feel tired of things and people around you.

Your Love

You can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking into his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of fights between you and your lover. Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.

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Is your birthday day 30 of the month?

Your Life

You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun to be with. Though you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities.

Your Love

You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly confident which might take
ages.

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Is your birthday day 31 of the month?

Your Life

Your emotion is hard to predict. You can be sad this minute and happy in the next. People might find it difficult to follow your emotion and understand you. You tend to take things seriously.

Your Love

You take your time to study a person before falling in love. Once you decide that he or she is the one, no one can stop you from making progress.

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  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||8:32 pm||||||||||.
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Something That A Girl Wants To Tell A Guy

THIS IS WHAT A GIRL TELL A GUY

If you see me walking the road with someone else,
It's not because I like his accompany...

It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me.

If you hear me talking about him all the time
It's not because he pleases me

It's because you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat

If you feel me falling with someone new
Its not because I love him..

But because you're not there to catch me fall

THE GUY REPLIED

When you thought I wasn't brave enough to walk beside you

I was behind you every step of the way

Still filled with awe because of the beauty that stand before me

When you thought I was too deaf to hear your heartbeat

I didn't want to assume anything
And I was afraid to loose our friendship

When you thought I wasn't there to catch you,
It was because you never gave me the chance

You never reached the bottom,
you've already grabbed a branch

WHAT THE GIRL WANTS TO TELL HIM

Don't let me walk with him,
It's you I want to walk with..

Don't let me talk of him,
it's you I want to talk with..

Don't let me fall for him,
It's you I want to fall in love with..

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don't know where the road is going

Are we gonna cross each other's path
Or just completely turn around?...

Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?

WHEN I SAW YOU...
I WAS AFRAID TO TALK TO YOU...

WHEN I TALKED TO YOU...
I WAS AFRAID TO HOLD YOU...

WHEN I HOLD YOU...
I WAS AFRAID TO LOVE YOU...

NOW THAT I LOVE YOU ...
I'M AFRAID TO LOSE YOU...

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:12 am||||||||||.
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A rough update on what has been going on for the past few days.

Saturday 18/09/2004

Today is the final day of my aunt's funeral. She was cremated at Mandai Crematory at 8.30am. It pained all of us to see her go. All of us cried and comforted each other. It is weird that I did not see my uncle (her husband) at the crematory, but who cares about him? After that, we went back to my late aunt's place to have lunch and to clear up all the litter and settle the finishing of the funeral.

Left my late aunt's place at 1.30pm with my parents. We had an appointment with my dad's relatives to camp overnight at Sembawang Beach. The appointment came at a bad time, but couldn't be canceled as the campsite and BBQ pits have been booked weeks ago.

So we caught up with a little sleep before setting out for Sembawang Beach at 4pm. Everyone was there by the time we reached. It has been some time since we had a gathering. I pitched the tents and prepared the food, while my aunties and uncles help to arrange the things that we will need for the BBQ later. My cousins had gone to Sembawang Plaza to get supplies like ice, charcoal and soft drinks. They came back at around 5 plus and continued to help out. I learnt that they have been there since 2pm to pitch their tents and to surround the whole shelter for our use.

At around 6pm or so, Dennis and I went for a swim. The water at Sembawang Beach is very filthy. We could hardly see the seabed as there were a lot of black oil and dirt floating on the sea. Nevertheless, Dennis and I still continued to swim in it and enjoyed ourselves.

Went back to our BBQ pit at around 8.30pm to find our parents BBQing away. My aunt (Dennis's mother) had invited her working colleagues to join us at the BBQ. Suddenly, the whole BBQ pit and shelter became so packed. It was so different from the scene in the afternoon. The drinks were running out fast, and we will have to restock later. At around 10pm, most of the guests were gone. Only a handful of them stayed and helped to clear up.

After clearing up, I gathered my cousins and went to Sembawang Plaza to get more food and drinks. While we were there, we bought more ice, charcoal, chocolates and alcoholic drinks.

We got back to our campsite at around 11 plus in the night. Most of our parents were asleep by then. We played some card games before Patricia and Victoria went to sleep in their tents. As for us guys, we continue to keep ourselves awake and thon through the night outside our tents.

At around 2am, we discovered that there are a lot of ants outside and some of them even got to our food. We used lighters, and fire to burnt the ants away. Luckily, Bin Hong brought some insect coils. We lit some of the coils and placed them near our food and the place where we sat. It worked wonders. The ants started to avoid the places that we placed the insect coils.

We finally got rid of the ants and some rest at 4.20am. By then, Dennis and I were yawning nonstop. Dennis slowly fell asleep, while I followed after him. Adrian and Bin Hong continued to keep awake and talk. All that happened after I fell asleep were all unknown to me.

Sunday 19/09/2004

Woke up at 7.20am. Was awaken by all the commotion. My aunties and uncles all woke up at 7am to go for a walk around the nearby park. They were making so much noise that I couldn't continue sleeping. Adrian, Victoria and Patricia followed their parents for a walk. Only Dennis, my parents, Dennis's parents and me remained at the campsite.

Since I couldn't fall back to sleep, I dragged Dennis up and asked him if he wants to go for a swim. He complained of the water being cold at this time, but finally agreed after some persuading. We got changed and went down to the beach again. The morning water was quite clear and clean compared to yesterday's. We could see our feet in the water. It was quite surprising to find that the water wasn't cold. Instead, it was warm. Guess I have given back my teacher my knowledge of Geography... The seabed loses heat when the surrounding air is cold... Therefore, the water is warm. Duh!

We saw a lot of people on the pier trying to catch crabs and fishes. We tried to catch some, but did not have the right equipments to do so. So we ended up catching nothing, but got ourselves injured as a result. I got a lot of cuts on the sole of my feet as I stepped on a lot of sharp rocks while trying to catch crabs. I got a big bruise as I also kicked on some rocks. My hands also got cut as I used my hands to break my fall when there were strong waves. I ended up limping up my campsite. Dennis did not fare better too. He also got several cuts and bruises on his leg.

My mum saw me with a bloody hand and leg. She was so scared that I will die from all the bleeding. I assured her that the loss was nothing, but the pain was unbearable. She rebutted that I deserved it. Well, what can I say? I got this as a result of my stupid ideas of catching crabs and fishes with bare hands.

We had our lunch at the campsite, downing all the food, which were left over since last night. At around 1pm, we packed up and left the campsite. Bided each other farewell and went home. I was in pain with a sore back and arms.

Bathed after reaching home. I saw my comfortable bed and slept on it, bypassing dinner.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:58 pm||||||||||.
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Moral Stories

1) The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were travelling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the
river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk.

"How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet.

The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept
quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite."

The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"

[This very old Chinese zen story reflects the thinking of many people today.We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "pretty lady" with us. We let them keep on
coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the "pretty lady". We should let go of the "pretty lady" immediately after crossing the river, immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately
remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over. It is just that simple.]

2) The Frogs

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was hocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs --- millions of them. They croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!" So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks. The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, "Well... where are all the frogs?" The farmer said, "I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!"

[Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]

3) The Turtles

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. Turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place for their outing. During the second year of their
journey they found a place ideal for them at last! For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned.

The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years... six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations.We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.]

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:11 am||||||||||.
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Joke Of The Day

Once upon a time in Singapore, there lived a happy couple, Mr & Mrs Ng with
their 3 lovely triplet daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper fashion and when they reached 20, their parents thought it was time to get them married. So, the parents found them the most suitable "leng chais" (handsome guys ). They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.

As "concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, Mr & Mrs Ng were curious about their daughters' first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs Ng told them... " Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you were satisfied. Write a letter to us, but so as not to raise your husbands' curiosity... You all must use a code-name to describe your
experiences".

So, the excited daughters were off.

A week passed. Mr & Mrs Ng got the first letter. It was from Elaine. They opened the letter and found the word "STANDARD CHARTERED". They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement. "Ah! here it is!", exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered was... "BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY". Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. "NESCAFE". So, again they took the neswpaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. "Ah! here it is. "NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP". Again, Mr & Mrs Ng beamed with joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. And another. There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried. Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out. The code-name was "SINGAPORE
AIRLINES".

Why Singapore Airlines? Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically. "Ah! Here it is!" Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud.

Before she could finish. THUMP!!!... She fell off her chair. The motto was... "7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP".

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||7:35 pm||||||||||.
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.:+:[.Gur|s.]:+:.

When girls are quiet,
Millions of things are running in their mind.

When girls are not arguing,
They are thinking deeply.

When girls look 'staringly' at you,
They are wondering how long you will be around.

When girls answer "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
They are not at all fine.

When girls stare at you,
They are wondering why are you lying.

When girls lay on your chest,
They are wishing for you to be theirs forever.

When girls call you everyday,
They are seeking for your attention.

When girls want to see you everyday,
They want to be loved and pampered by you.

When girls sms u everyday,
They miss you and want you to reply at least once.

When girls say I LOVE YOU,
They mean it.

When girls say that they can't live without you,
They have made up their mind that you are their future.

Finally...

When girls say "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than them...

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||11:58 pm||||||||||.
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  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||3:36 pm||||||||||.
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A view of Ivan from space.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||1:25 pm||||||||||.
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20 Questions to a Better Relationship

Expressive: 7/10
Practical: 6/10
Physical: 4/10
Giver: 10/10

You are a XPIG--Expressive Practical Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Catch.

You are a magazine-cover, matinee idol dreamboat. Parents love you and want to set you up with their kids. However, first dates are tough because it takes time for your qualities to come out.

You are generous and kind. You think first and act later. You are cool in a conflict, but your practical side means if your partner throws out emotional appeals ("why can't we do what I want for a change?") they will grate on your nerves, even when the conflict is resolved.

You're a romantic. You enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and you don't just fall into bed with anyone. You pay close attention to your significant other's needs, and this makes you an excellent lover and partner. The problem is that your friends and lovers may find it so easy to express things to *you* that they lose sight of whether you feel as comfortable with *them*! This doesn't necessarily make you feel under-appreciated -- you're too well-adjusted and self-aware for that -- but you may feel restless. Thus you seek adventure in your life outside the relationship to prove and actualize yourself.

Of all the types, you would make the best parent.

You are coiffed.

Didja see "Big Fish"? 'Cause you're like Ewan MacGregor in "Big Fish."

Of the 80706 people who have taken this quiz, 8.8 % are this type.

Source: Here

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||8:29 pm||||||||||.
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I'm Sorry...

I'm Sorry...
For all the mean things I might have said.

I'm Sorry...
For all the things I did or didn't do.

I'm Sorry...
If I ever ignored you.

I'm Sorry...
If I ever made you feel bad or put you down.

I'm Sorry...
If I ever thought I was bigger or better than you.

I Love You...
Don't ever forget that! Through bad times and good, I'll always be here for you.

I am Sorry...
For everything wrong I've ever done.

I'm writing this because what if tomorrow never comes?

What if you never get to say good-bye or give a BIG hug to the people you care about?

What if you never get to say I'm sorry or I love you?

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||12:19 pm||||||||||.
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This Is Call Love

If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If
they don't, their love was never yours to begin with...

A great love is when you shed tears and still cares for him & still longs for
him, he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say, "I'm happy for
you."

The worst thing in the world is seeing the one you love with the one they love.
You always leave the ones who leaves you and leaves the one who loves you.

Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how
you understand, not what you see but how you feel and not how you let go but
how you hold on.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:21 pm||||||||||.
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Beauty and Love

"Can I see my baby?" the happy new mother asked. When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped. The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears.

Time proved that the baby's hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred. When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heart breaks. He blurted out the tragedy. "A boy, a big boy... called me a freak."

He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. "You might mingle with other young people," his mother
reproved him, but felt a tenderness in her heart.

The boy's father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done? "I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured" the doctor decided. Where upon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man.

Two years went by. Then, "You are going to the hospital, son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But it's a secret," said the father.

The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. Later he married and entered the diplomatic service. "But I must know!" he urged his father. "Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him." "I do not believe you could," said the father, "but the agreement was that you are not to know... not yet."

The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come... one of the darkest days that ever pass through a son. He stood with his father over his mother's casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick,
reddish-brown hair to reveal... that the mother had no outer ears.

"Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut," he whispered gently, "and nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they?"

Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what can be seen, but what cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what is done but not known.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:36 am||||||||||.
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