OK. I am back here once again after so long a time...

This site will undergo a revamp, but the design will most likely stay the same as it is a memory for me. If I can find a theme that I like better, then I will have a change for it.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||2:46 pm||||||||||.
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S.H.E - 天灰

如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||10:12 pm||||||||||.
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Once again, it's a tiring day.

Actually wanted to celebrate my boss's birthday today. But got too much work to do, so my boss decided to postpone the celebration to Thursday.

Was a little unhappy with the postponing as I have already ordered a Birthday Cake and asked the shop to deliver to the restaurant. With this new arrangement, plans were all screwed up and Justin who made an effort to go down, made a wasted trip.. Feels very sad for him... I also pity the sales-girl who helped to sent the cake and in end had to take the cake back to the shop again for Thursday....

Anyway, so we went for shopping instead... Saw lots of new clothes and things that I wanted to buy...

At the end of the shopping trip, Michael and Kevin who accompanied me got approached by some insurance girls to buy some plans... I was not approached at all..... Guess they are not interested in a poor and normal guy like me....

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||9:12 pm||||||||||.
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Too bad, we didn't meet this way, it probably wouldn't have been anything like this if we had met this way, but if we had, I hope it might have been something like this.

{{{{ hugs }}}}

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||6:41 pm||||||||||.
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I have to admit that I had a bit of a hard time adjusting to us not being together, whereas she, on the other hand, seems to adapt much faster and easier than expected. She felt more freedom again, she could go to clubs, bars and parties at any time without having to ask me or invite me along or any restrictions that we used to have when we are together. She is enjoying her single status again, quite often coming home later than when we were together.

As for myself, I still have some feelings for her in the back of my mind, which I am having a hard time separating from and moving on. Which is why I wasn't hitting the singles scene like she is. Instead I just busied myself in my work.

My mother's condition too took a toll on me. She wasn't here by my side now and I sorely missed her.

Was her leaving due to me being too attentive and protective towards her, indirectly affecting her life? How I wish things can be turned back and we were all the same again.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||5:23 pm||||||||||.
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All of these feels like a dream...

From the day I met you... The day was specially bright... You picked me up when I was down and gave me courage to carry on. You comforted me and offered me your shoulder and ears to relieve my problems and troubles.

We start out a relationship that I was confident and happy with... Everyday with you is a perfect day come true. Happy moments came on and on, day by day.

Until now, when you departed... Leaving me down and out. Licking my wounds and despair. Pondering on and on and on for an answer...

All of these feels like a dream...

Everything that we been through and done feels like a dream...

How I wish I have never woke up from this dream and we can carry on like before. Things have changed and they changed our livies and our view in life. We are seperated by our aim in life and differ in our common understanding.

Why do I have to wake up to all these?

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||6:57 pm||||||||||.
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Today is a heretic day.... Non-stop working....

Did managed to complete all those tasked to me... Another ICT will be around the corner, next week to be exact.

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||8:11 pm||||||||||.
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Well, after missing in action for such a long time, I guess I am back here again.

A lot of things have happened, and a lot events affected my life. Some good, most bad or worse...

"Life is never fair and I understand this fact."

But after going through so many things and months of thinking, escaping and self-realisation, I find that the statement above is never true.

I can't blame God for what had happened, but I can;t stop thinking about why all these have fell on me and changed my life so drastically. People leaving my life without me knowing what had happened... Leaving me with all the bitterness and depression that appeared suddenly in front of me.

With each passing day, I grow weaker and weaker in both my physical and mental state. All these are draining me too fast before I can recover... No one there for me when I needed it most...

Overnight, my world turn from Heaven to Hell. I was slamed right in the face back to Earth again...

Why make me soar up to the skies when you have the intention of bringing me back to earth? To make me feel the pain when I fall down back to Earth? I guess that is so...

All the arguments and seperations...

All the stress and pressure...

All the sadness and loneliness...

Who can understand this?

Who can understand what I am going through?

Who is there for me when I really need someone there?

Someone, please help...

"Things Happened For A Reason. And I Am Trying My Best To Find Out What Is The Reason..."

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||9:33 pm||||||||||.
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I took the below story out from a forum, which I linger around everyday.

We tend to hurt the people closest to us much more than we know... Especially our parents. Do read the following story and reflect on our actions and think over. Start cherishing your parents now.

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"The Mom That Had Only 1 Eye"

My mom only had one eye.
I hated her... she was such an embarrassment...
She cooked for students & teachers...to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school and my mom came.
I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?
I threw her a hateful look and ran out.


The next day at school...
"Your mom only has one eye?!?!...eeeee", said a friend.
I wished my mom would just disappear from this world.
So I said to my mom, "Mom... Why don't you have the other eye?!
If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!!!"


My mom did not respond...
I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think
that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time...
Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me,
but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night...
I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might
wake me.
I took a look at her, and then turned away.
Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something
pinching at me in the corner of my heart.

Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye.
So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful.
Then I studied real hard.
I left my mother and went to Singapore to study.

Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too...
Now I'm living happily as a successful man.
I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom.
This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when...

What?! Who's this?!
It was my mother...Still with her one eye.
I felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.
Even my children ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
And I asked her, "Who are you?!" "I don't know you!!!" as if trying to make
that real.
I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!"


"GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"


And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have
gotten the wrong address," and she
disappeared out of sight.

Thank good ness... She doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved.
I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest
of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon me...

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore.
So, lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went.
After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a
house... Just out of curiosity

There, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground.
But I did not shed a single tear.
She had a piece of paper in her hand....It was a letter to me.


"My son...
I think my life has been long enough now...
And... I wont visit Singapore anymore...
But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a
while? I miss you so much..
And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I decided not to go to the school.


For you...
And I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.
As a mom, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one
eye...
So I gave you mine...
I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my
place, with that eye.
I was never upset at you for anything you did..
The couple times that you were angry with me..
I thought to myself, 'It's because he loves me..'

This message has a very deep meaning and is to remind people of the
goodness they have enjoyed because of others directly or indirectly.
Pause a moment and consider your life. Be thankful for what you have
today.

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  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||4:32 pm||||||||||.
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Hi Friends,

This following story emphasizes the fact that what we do can significantly impact others' lives. Little did the baseball players know the impact of their act of kindness, not just on a little boy's life, but the trickling effects thereafter.

Amongst those in this distribution list are some friends who work with the less fortunate, either as a career or on a voluntary basis. May you be further encouraged to reach out in love and compassion.

For the rest of mere mortals like myself, may we all remember to show a little kindness as we go thru' our busy life!

Pass it on...


THE SHAY STORY

Hi! Everybody. Please stop for a moment to read this heart-rending story. Reading this the second time did not lose the effect of this touching story. Take a moment off our busy schedule and enjoy this reality of life.


At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.

Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"

Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much.

The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six Runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.

Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team-mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!"

Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world. Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy and coming home and seeing his mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message.

Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things."

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity to brighten the day of those with us the least able, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats its least fortunate amongst them. You now have two choices:

1. Delete or
2. Forward

May your day be a Shay Day sunny today & always!

  :Posted By: Dysfunctional Sadist At ||||||||||12:08 pm||||||||||.
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