April: 01st - April Fool's Day 01st - Syahrul's Birthday 02nd - Avril Lavigne Bonez Tour 03rd - Mum's Blood Test @ KK 05th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 07th - Justin ORD 10th - Mum's Surgery @ KK Hospital 12th - Aaron's Brthday 13th - Doctor Appointment @ TTSH 13th - Opening Of (Eight Below) 12th - Opening Of Movie (Firewall) 14th - Good Friday Holiday 17th - Gary's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday
20th - Boss's Birthday Celebration
23rd - Emil & Jonathon Concert 05
26th - Andy Lim's Birthday
May:
01st - Progress Reward Banked In
01st - Labour Day Holiday
01st - Jennifer's Birthday
05th - Opening Of Movie (MI:3)
09th - Winnie's Birthday
12th - Vesak Day Holiday
18th - Opening Of (Da Vinci Code)
25th - Opening Of Movie (X-Men 3)
:: Wish Upon A Star ::
01) A Girlfriend? Let Fate Decide It
02) More Incoming Funds (Money)
03) Apple iPod Video 30 GB ($548)
04) Complete My National Service
05) A Handphone (Nokia N91)
06) A New Wallet
07) New Adidas Watch
08) Apple iMac G5
09) Looking For Pen Pals
:: Current Config ::
Typing On:
- HP iPAQ rx3715
[Samsung S3C 2440 Processor]
[152MB Internal Memory]
[1GB Scandisk SD-Card]
[64K Transflective type QVGA TFT]
[Integrated WLAN 802.11b]
[Integrated Bluetooth]
[1.2 MegaPixels Camera]
[PocketPC Windows Mobile 2003]
- IBM Thinkpad T22
[Intel® Mobile Pentium-III 900MHz]
[1GB RAM]
[60GB IBM HDD]
[64MB ATI Mobility RADEON 7500]
[DVD/CD-RW Drive]
[Iomega USB 250MB ZIP Drive]
[14.1" TFT Active Display Matrix]
[Internal Lucent V.90 Modem]
[Intel PRO/1000 Gbps Ethernet]
[Windows 2000 Professional]
- My Own Personnal Rig
[Intel Pentium-IV 1.7GHz]
[Asus P4P800 Deluxe]
[512MB x 2 Kingston DDR400 D43]
[80GB DiamondMax Plus 9 HDD]
[128MB NVIDIA GeForce4 Ti 4200]
[Creative Audigy 2 Platinum]
[Internal Toshiba DVD-ROM Drive]
[Internal Pioneer DVD-RW Drive]
[External Plextor CD-RW Drive]
[Internal Iomega 250MB Zip Drive]
[17" ViewSonic CRT Monitor GS771]
[smartNIC PnP Network Adapter]
[Altec Lansing ACS 44]
[Windows XP Professional]
Pan Wei Bo
Bu De Bu Ai
Wang Li Hom
Kiss Goodbye
Cyndi Wang Xin Ling
Ai Ni
Yan Cheng Xu
Yi Gong Chi
Lin Jun Jie
Cao Cao
Wang Li Hom
Forever Love
Wu Ke Qun
Wu Ke Qun
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Yi Lu Ziang Bei
S.H.E
Tian Hui
Jay Zhou Jie Lun
Gui Ji
Zhang Jing Xuan
My Way
Jolin Cai Yi Ling
Ye Man You Xi
Jay Zhou Jie Lun & Lara
Shan Wu Hai
Wang Li Hom
Ni Bu Zai
Lena Park
Moon
S.H.E
Ai Ne
Akon
Lonely
Alicia Keys
Karma
S.H.E
Xing Guang
B.O.A
Alantis Princess
Xiao Ya Xuan
Di Xia Tie
F.I.R
You Make Me Wanna Fall In Love
Jolin Cai Yi Lin
Hai Dao
Jackie Chan & Jin Xi Shan
Shen Hua
Horoscope for Scorpio 17 April 2006 ~ 23 April 2006
You need to keep busy doing things that you both enjoy. Think twice before you say something you might regret later. Take care of any pressing medical problems that you or one of your parents may be suffering from. Outdoor sports events should entice you.
Since The CopyRight Rule Has Surfaced In Singapore, I Guess, This Portion Is To Be Taken Away. Sorry, People.
:: Site Rules ::
Rules? What rules? There are absolutely no rules. Steal, plagiarize, insult, vandalize, pee, lick, stare, drool, undergo mental sexual stimulation, worship. Whatever you want to do, just do it and don't tell me. HTML coding and decoding are done solely by me, I don't use blog templates. Best viewed in...
IE 5 & Above
800 x 600 Resolution
Unicode UTF-8 Encoding
Full Screen Mode
(Press F11)
By the way, this site is not dialup friendly. (Bandwidth Intensive)
:: Looking For ::
:: Lots Of Thanks ::
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Am I a loser?
I really felt like a loser today. The loser I am pointing to is the "Failure In Life" kind. I seems to achieve nothing in my life so far. I have no ambition, no motive and no driving force.
Take my studies as an example. I actually did well in my Primary and Secondary school years. Do you know why? I have my mum to thank for that. She constantly pushed me, barked at me to concentrate on my studies, asked me to do my work, call in lots of tuition teachers to help me in my weak subjects. But when I got to Polytechnic, she couldn't do anything. Polytechnic education is out of her league. She don't know what my work is about, how to help me to solve my problems, what to study. She can't do much to push me through my Polytechnic years. I ended up studying much longer than others. I do not the motivation to push myself. All I think was having fun.
People mocked me, make fun of me for taking longer than others to complete my Polytechnic studies. I don't blame or hate them, it is all because of my own doings. I have been a disappointment to my parents, relatives and even close friends. No one expected a guy when scored 257 for PSLE, 11 for O'Levels to be like this.
Going through these few hard days made me think and evaluate myself. Why did I become in this state? Was it because of BGR as everyone had said? Was it really my own lack of discipline instead? I guess so.
As for relationships, I don't seem to have the luck like my peers. Almost everyone around me are attached or even married, some of them. They truly loved each other and their relationships lasted. As for me myself? I have failed in 3 relationships and the present is giving me jitters. Why have I been such a failure in life? Was it because of my own indecisiveness, inferior nature? All the girls in the past relationships and the present one are very good in their studies, nice-looking and have plenty of suitors. I am neither of good looks nor good in my studies. This triggered of the inferiority in myself. Well, that's the way the world goes. The capable are paired together, the useless are dumped aside onlooking.
My temper and character don't go down well with people. Some people call me Ba*tard, some called me Fu*ker, others Moron. Where did I go wrong? I really need someone to change me for the better. A pity that the person who can will soon be not around to do so. Do I rely on others a lot? I am getting a feeling that I do.
Friends... I don't have much friends. Most friends I made through my life are like..... "Friends". When we graduated, we would not be in any contact with each other. This is mostly the case for all my Primary, Secondary and even my Polytechnic friends. Most the friends I am with right now are what we call "Surface Friends". They will be friends with me, but in time of need, most of them are unreliable. But there are some whom are true friends.
Having gone through these slow and painful weeks, only a few of my friends called and expressed concern. I discovered who are my true friends and who are not. People like Gary, Alain, Val, Cher, Guojiu, Zixian and a few more are the few who actually called and ask if I am OK, if I need someone to talk to. Some kind souls whom I do not know personally, actually bothered to send me emails consoling me. I really treasure these friends and thank them for the concern expressed. But how many of this kind of friends will come across my life again? I doubt many. Some people can get friends easily, but there are some like me, whom people despises.
Well, long-winded, isn't it? If you are likely to hate or dislike my blog entries, I can tell you that you won't like the person behind it, which is me.
:Posted By: